He is constantly being critical of everything in my life under the guise that I have so much potential and am squandering it. His criticism hurt a lot and always makes me feel unloved. Today he told me I need to be the person that I say I am (an artist) and make art not excuses. It’s not that he’s wrong, it’s just he is constantly trying to encourage me to change in ways that are really hard for me. I also struggle with schizophrenia, which makes routine and basic self care really difficult. I have just moved into my first place in a long time and am starting over. I don’t even have a table or chair in my house yet. I told him I was not really comfortable making art on the floor. And he said he has friends subsisting on beer and cigarettes who make art their priority over everything. He is also critical of me not doing my daily routine, which is in part yoga and meditation. He wants us to be better together, but somehow I’m always the one falling short. So he is moving in with me today and we’re both upset and crying and I ask him if he even wants to make this work because he hasn’t said a single positive thing to me about myself. I’m so broken up and sad over this, and we decided that moving in is still ok. He is loading his stuff now and I’m going to help him unpack, but I’m unsure if I made the right choice.
Tl;dr- bf is highly critical of me causing me to question why he would even want to be with me. He is moving in today and I’m unsure if the is the right decision.