I’m a filipina(27) working and i’m dating an Indian(27), he’s still studying taking a second course in college as he really wants to be in a medical field. He’s studying in the Philippines. We have been dating for 6 months now and during our 4th month, he introduced me with his family through a video call and has already talked about marriage. I am deeply serious with this guy and I agree. Before my partner introduced me, he asked his parents if they’re really fine with them dating and marrying someone outside their culture and they agreed. I met their parents, we were in a call and everything was set up. All we needed to do now is inform my parents.
My partner went to my parents and told about all the plans in getting married in the near future. My parents were entirely shocked since we just known each other. My parents told my partner that he can finish his studies first, that way we can still get to know each other. My parents answer is “not yet” to the marriage as it’s still early but they are not disagreeing. They were open about talking to my partners parents about it.
On a later note, my partner told his parents about the outcome and they completely agree that my partner will finish his studies first and we’ll discuss the marriage after. So we still continue dating and also planning for the future. But here comes the sad part, last week, his parents were having second thoughts about us being together as the complications, the difference with our culture and the language and other problems that we might face. They would prefer someone in their country so that it wouldn’t be a hassle as they already know the culture.
I told my partner that I’m willing to learn the culture and one main challenge that we’ll face is the language but i’m most willingly to learn as I also want to communicate with them without my partner being the translator. The problem now is, as my partner has been defending me with his parents that he wants me and my partner is still a dependent person. Disobeying them might end up them cutting ties, as his dad says disobey again and he’ll cut all funds from his education, visa and rent. My partner chooses me but I don’t want him to cut ties with his parents, he’s also at risks here cause if he disobey, he will be stuck in the Philippines.
I wanted to talk to their parents as I might be able to convince them how serious we are and i’m much willing to do anything. However, they’re busy and telling them to call me is somehow already to get in their nerves as they’re experiencing personal matters as well. I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend just because of this reasons, it’s unfair. I don’t mind waiting for marriage as in reality we were not planning this but it was the parents who brought it up as we would like to know each other first. His parents wanted to tell this early so I wouldn’t get hurt from the breakup, but I really don’t want to. A lot of sacrifices have as been made.
I’m trying to fight for this relationship and my partner is also at risks as he also don’t want to disobey his parents and lose me too. Please I need advice on what should we do
TL;DR: My Indian boyfriend is still dependent and studying a second course and I’m working. We’re in the Philippines. His parents told him if he loves me, he should marry me and as we also informed my parents, they still want us to get to know each other and my boyfriend to finish his studies as he also wants it. Both parents agree, however, my bf’s parents are suddenly backing out because of cultural differences and language. They prefer having an arrange marriage with their son. My partner kept defending me as he truly loves me but the parents are angry and felt disobeyed that if my boyfriend tried to disrespect again they’ll cut off his funds. My boyfriend is stuck on whom to choose as he loves me but at the same time can’t disobey his parents as he’s still dependent with no work and getting work requires visa. Please advise on what should we do as we are trying to convince them.