Hi everyone, currently writing this after crying for an hour straight but I did break up with him. Also thank you thank you thank you to everyone who left supportive and kind messages, i am truly so grateful. I would not have been able to break up with him if i didn’t have so many people backing me up, so thank you for having my back💓
So I ended up pulling an all nighter because of anxiety and decided to call him immediately after he was up. This is how the conversation went.
I asked him if he had blocked me from his story, and he denied it, so i told him i saw it from my second account and he went silent. Then he asked me if i was mad at him. If i hadn’t posted here and gotten feedback from you all then i would’ve probably downplayed it, but i was firm with him. I said of course i was mad, what did he think? he’s hanging out with someone who ruined my life. He said “you’re twisting it way out of proportion. this is why i didn’t want to tell you.”
I asked how? he said he was just meeting someone who asked to meet up because she was in the area and he couldn’t say no.
edit : oh my god really big detail i forgot to mention, when he was justifying meeting up with her, his reason was that he befriends everyone, so it’s not exclusive to her. and he also told me “she seems like she’s a changed person” HOW did i forget to mention that when i wrote this. Sorry my brain is all muddled up. i just remembered this because of another comment.
We kept arguing back and forth and he kept gaslighting me (which i noticed more now) and i finally told him that he broke my trust and betrayed me, and i want to break up. I was expecting him to be mad but he said “If that’s what you want.” that just made me cry more, and i asked “do you not care about me at all?” he said “I do, but not when you’re disrespecting me like this.” He also got mad at me for confronting him straight after he woke up, but i really couldn’t wait because the anxiety was eating me up.
I think what he said at the end that stung the most was that “Don’t dump your insecurities onto me, i’m not your therapist.” He has said this before as well, when i’ve tried to talk about issues in our relationship, where he’s told me not to come to him for that. I was like “who else do i talk to about my relationship problems other than the guy i’m dating??” he said “idk but not me, go to a therapist.” That never made sense to me but i believed him because i didn’t want to lose him. In the beginning of the relationship he would be there for me when i was anxious or depressed, but in the past year and half, every time i’m down, he tells me to not come to him. Is that normal? i know he was not my therapist and i wouldn’t dump my problems on him, but i just wanted some support.
Anyway, i don’t want to make this long. If you want specifics of the conversation I can write them in the comments. I’m still nauseous and shaking so i’m having a hard time typing this, sorry if it’s a bit messy. He was so mean to me just now, that even though i’m grieving the relationship, i’m glad i broke up with him. I don’t think i want to be with someone who’s so mean to me after all the bullying i’ve endured in my life. Also if any of you are worried about me, please don’t be! i’m at home right now thankfully and my mom is helping me. Thank you again for being so supportive, i really wasn’t expecting so much of it! you all are amazing💓🥲
edit: i hadn’t blocked him yet, but he just blocked me on all socials.
UPDATE to edit: he just unblocked me and started calling me on instagram when he realised i blocked his number. i finally blocked him back. i’m feeling really anxious and overwhelmed but i think i’ve made the right decision.