So I’ve been with my wife for 10 years total. Married for 2. There are a bunch of things wrong in our marriage and I need some advice.
-We argue all the time. I’m emotionally unavailable due to childhood trauma and things get pent up and I have a tendency to get into a shouting match. She has a tendency to defend herself and never willing to accept a blame. I have a short temper and can tolerate only so much. I am in therapy for the last 5 years so I’ve been working on me.
-She is overly attached to her family and anything that I may say or come off rude towards them tends to back fire on me. She’ll argue about my behavior but will defend her families behavior that initially made me respond the way that I did. Family is the root of most of our issues. I don’t feel accepted by her family. I get the feeling they don’t think I’m good enough for her. Not sure how valid that is but that’s the feeling I get.
-We have never had sex in our 10 year relationship. This is a red flag to me. There is no trauma on her end that could lead to not being ready. She says she doesn’t feel connected whatever that means. Everytime I’ll bring it up or ask about it typical excuses come up.
We’ve been together 10 years and we get along when things are good. But when things get heated I end up garnering a lot of hate towards her. We are in couples therapy and are following the steps but I think I am over it. The therapist has straight up asked me if I have cheated because she doesn’t see how after 10 years I’ve been so patient.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? Divorce or try to work it out.