My wife and I have been together for 4 years. She didn’t call me dumb for the first time until 7 months into our relationship. We talked about things and were able to get through it. Things didn’t get really bad, like on a daily basis bad until a good ways into our marriage. We got married in 2021 and she started calling me retarded, autistic, idiot, on a regular basis, turning into a daily thing multiple times per day… It started getting really bad in mid 2022, and let me just say I have never one time called my wife dumb or stupid or anything of that nature. It’s not right and I stand by that.
I will not lie to you, I am definitely not smart and others may think the same things she tells me. But at the same time I don’t feel like I am as stupid or dumb as she thinks I am. Before she ever came into the picture. I was living completely independent. I had my own place, paid cash for my 2 vehicles and had a successful job leading into my career today. To me, even if I am on the slower side, it doesn’t seem to affect my day to day life, at least not majorly lol
When I’ve had conversations with her and asked her to stop, she would stop for a little bit, but even when she did stop. You could just tell she thinks it and deep down believes that I am and that reflects in our relationship. Even still it would progress back into her actually saying it again.
It’s gotten to a point where i ask her, if she thinks I’m so retarded then why does she want to be with me. She says because I’m perfect in every other way. Idk though, it just really gets to me.
As things progressed for the worse in these regards, she started pushing for me to get tested for autism. I could be wrong but what good is that even going to do?? I’ve talked with my doctor about it and he told me that he has high functioning autism and he is a family doctor for crying out loud! What is me getting tested going to do for my wife? I stand by that which is why I refuse to get tested because I feel as if it should be a personal decision and I cant help but think that me getting tested would be leveraging myself into more name calling and putting down.
I love my wife to pieces and it pains me to even write about this, but this can’t go on. I grew up religious and never thought splitting would be an option but I just don’t know anymore if things continue like this… and thank goodness we don’t have kids yet.