Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I know there must be other introverts out there who can relate to this. I identify as both an introvert and a people-pleaser, and it creates this internal conflict in social situations.
Here’s the scenario: I’m talking to someone new, maybe it’s at a party or even just a family gathering with some distant relatives. The conversation is flowing alright, but then there’s a silence. That dreaded silence hits, and suddenly I feel this immense pressure to fill it.
Now, the logical part of my brain knows that silence is perfectly normal. But the people-pleasing side of me kicks in, and the fear of being seen as boring or awkward takes over.
So, what do I do? I launch into what I know are inane attempts at small talk. I might blurt out some random observation about the weather, or worse, resort to fake compliments that feel disingenuous even as they leave my mouth. Sometimes I pepper the other person with questions I’m not really interested in the answers to, just to keep the dialogue moving.
The problem is, I know this behavior isn’t me and honestly, it probably doesn’t do wonders for the other person’s perception of me either. Plus, it definitely takes a toll on my self-esteem. I come away from these interactions feeling drained and frustrated with myself.
What should I do?