TDLR AT THE BOTTOM
Throwaway
Me and my fiance have been together coming up 7 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but ultimately felt that we were ment for eachother.
A few weeks back, I met with one of my best friends ‘meg’ and we had an evening drinking. Both me and fiance met her at the same time through mutual friends around 3 years ago but her and I both became close. I must say, she’s STUNNING, outgoing personality and all the guys and even some girls in our group have a thing for her. We always have a good night out and my partner offered to come collect us when we were done. He’s never expressed having a thing for her and never showed interest. He didn’t want to come out so offered us a lift home. Now this is where my memory gets fuzzy as there was a bit of drink involved from me. Somehow, he comes to collect us. I honestly don’t know how, but he ends up taking her home without me in the car? She’s on our way home so I honestly don’t know.
The following Friday most of the group (3 guys, 3 girls including me and my fiance) go out for the evening via train. Not much drink was actually involved. A lot of fun and the occasional drink. On the train ride back, we split into 2 groups. Me, another guy and girl on one carriage then my fiance, meg and another guy on another one. By the time we get to our stop, we all get off. We noticed my fiance basically bolting it out of there. The last three of us, meg and another guy waited for the other two to get into their taxis as the rest of us were walking distance. I asked meg where did my fiance go??! She mentioned that he had cuddled up to her on the train, hand on her thigh then suddenly bolted onto another carriage then when arriving at the station, walked away. She doesn’t know. Right, okay??? Me, meg and the other guy friend that will often stay at ours after a night out started walking home. We took meg home as she’s on the way to mine. Got to the house and fiance still wasn’t there as we presumed he walked home. We panicked. We thought he had the key to get in and walked straight back to megs. I called her on the way explaining the situation and that I was desperate for a wee. Needed to stop off, take a wee then the guy friend would drive us back to mine as his car was at megs. I asked if she heard anything from my fiance and she had no clue. We were so panicked. Got there, I had a wee then we drove back to mine. Where fiance was waiting at the door step.
Turns out, he had actually gone to megs during the time Me and guy friend dropped her off and when I had actually called her, fiance was there. Apparently she told him to get out, knowing I was coming to use the loo. (This is what fiance has told me). According to
fiance, he went to tell her that they can’t be friends anymore and feels guilty getting too close to her.
I was super confused?! Like nothing that I knew of has happened between them. Kinda just let it drop that night as we didn’t get back until like 2am. The next morning, I get a call from meg. She was crying over the phone as I messaged her that previous evening when we found my fiance at the door step and he said he’d been there. I messaged her saying”we found ‘fiance’ and he’s said he was at yours” she was in tears, saying he’d come over to say they can’t be friends anymore and she said her loyalties should have been with me. Not him. Should have said he was there. I asked fiance about this the next morning. He mentioned that previous Friday me and meg went out like I said before. The Friday night that somehow they were alone in the car. He admitted to telling her he finds her very attractive. They got cuddly etc in the car. But he told her they can’t be friends anymore when he went round this recent night after the train station when I lost him and I forgave him. I was glad he could step away from her before it got too far.
However, the next few days were hell. I didn’t mention it but he would still scream & shout at me for no reason whatsoever. That Saturday after the group night out, we had to go to his parents for a family gathering. On the way home, we exploded. I finally lost my temper and when he compared me getting sexually assaulted to him confessing his feelings for another girl I slammed on the brakes while driving (which he has done PLENTY of times when we argue in the car) he screams at me, punches my arm, I swerve onto oncoming traffic nearly in the ditch. I didn’t talk to him for a few days.
After a couple evenings of not talking I asked for full honesty of that evening they were in the car alone. He basically said that he told her wants her but can’t have her. They cuddled, he kissed her head, he kissed his cheek.
I’m broken.
I’ve hardly said a word to him. He’s been super nice since then. No shouting like last last time he confessed his feelings towards her.
Why was he horrible to me about it? Constantly playing the victim. Why now is he being nice?
I feel like we’ve been together too long to break up. I’m at a loss. All self confidence has been destroyed. I can’t even blame him. She’s stunning. I don’t know what to do anymore. The fact he cut all contact with her makes me feel better.
TDLR – Fiance admitted he’s attracted to one of my best friends to her directly and wants to be with her but can’t because of be me. He’s cut contact with her but being nasty towards me about it.