Me (23M) and my girlfriend (19F) have been in a relationship for the last 6 months. It had turned into a long-ish (4 hour drive) distance relationship because of university 3 months in and we both knew it was going to be like this but we agreed to give it a go. Things were going really well. Her and I both felt like despite the distance it was going great, talking everyday, regular facetime for hours but not everyday and would see each other in person fairly often (couple times a month at least).
About a month ago she had time off for a few weeks which she traveled and spent it at her parents house only 10mins away from me. During this time off she later explained she was experiencing lack of energy and optimism and was feeling hopeless which she had no explanation for other than it beginning around the time she started taking the pill (hormones) and didn’t tell me this due to lack of communication. I didn’t realize this and would have been a lot more supportive/understanding otherwise but less than 1 week after spending the day together and having a great time she sent me a message saying we might be better off as friends (platonic) and she’s incredibly sorry.
This was incredibly abrupt and a complete surprise for me to read. She explained the reason for this was due the lack of optimism and feeling hopeless which she didn’t think she could be the person she should be for me which wasn’t fair to me. I had explained to her that she was everything I ever wanted and more in a relationship, trying to work things out and she had also mentioned that I was everything she wanted and felt like this was a “Perfect relationship” where I was wonderful to her. After a long discussion and me trying to convince her that she’s great in the relationship she has made it clear she doesn’t want to be in one. She still really wants to remain good friends where we talk everyday and share our lives with each other because she cares for me greatly and would hate for me to not be in her life, but doesn’t feel like she can go all in on a relationship at the moment because she’s not feeling right and doesn’t believe it is something that we can work out or I can help her with.
This was and still is a complete shock to me and hurts so much as everything was going great to my knowledge but I have to accept and respect her decision while I find it hard to stop trying to convince her that its solvable. It has been a couple of days since this has happened with a lot of crying from both parties and we’re still talking/messaging almost all day like just like it was before and she’s messaging first, saying goodnight etc.
I need advice on what to do. I have strong feelings for her and she has said the same about me but to me that doesn’t make sense? Everything was going great and to then a few days later not want it. I find it hard to accept that we cant work it out, is it as simple as stop taking the hormone pill? Do I continue to be good friends with her despite my feelings in hopes that it works out in the future or do I just bite the bullet and move on completely without contact which isn’t what I want to do but I don’t knooooow.
**TL;DR:** My (23M) girlfriend (19F) or now ex abruptly ended our relationship despite her saying it was going great. This was due to her having mental issues and not feeling like she can be all in on a relationship which she finds unfair to me. Need advice on what I should do.