So if you have seen my previous posts, my partner has finally gotten approve of a 30k AUD loan.
And I’ve been thinking of whenever or not I’m selfish. I’ve been with him for about a year and a half. 2 years in half a year.
I don’t approve of his car loan, I hate it. And it just doesn’t help that the day we have a public holiday, he’s going to do a manual car lesson. Now this is important, because although he didn’t discuss the car loan with me he asked if I wanted to go with him to his lesson.
I thought it might be a good experience and might help me with the resentment I’m feeling towards his finances. We agreed for Sunday but he forgot and booked it on a public holiday when he knows I’m going up to my dad’s for the weekend, and thinks I’m overreacting for being upset.
But the selfish part is that I can’t help but feel selfish in terms of seeing how this car benefits me. I would have preferred if he got a family car or a Ute or anything but a sports car.
I can’t help but think how can he spend 30k on a loan but not 1k on an engagement ring for next year?
I’m ready for the next step in life, preparing for the next step in life. I don’t want kids til I’m 25, I don’t want to be engaged now but maybe at the end of the year or next year. But I want to talk and start preparing on saving, how to start living my life.
He says he wants all that with me but he hasn’t even prepared for any of that. He wanted to go nightclub the other night which I don’t mind but it’s like he’s trying to enjoy his youth when he’s 27 this year.
I feel so selfish for wanting these things, because isn’t the whole point is that it’s his money, his choice?
That he’s allowed to be happy and have nice things? So why do I feel selfish?