I have a relationship for two years with my girlfriend, and she is the first girl I ever had. She is normally very kind and understanding to me in a way that other people have never been (I am autistic). I do love her, but I am not sure I am fully attracted to her.
I often have sleeping problems with sleep, and often I wake up in a half conscious state where I cannot move much but I am also not really sleeping. I often also have an erection while sleeping like this, sort of like morning wood. One night my girlfriend says she needed something and climbed on top of me and had her way with me, despite me mumbling no. I felt too nervous, and was in no state to really react to it, and it was very confusing for me. The next morning she apologized for what she did. I still often have memories of this, and it sometimes makes me feel anxious around her. She can often be quite domineering, and sometimes I feel obliged to have sex with her.
Is this appropriate? How should I treat my relationship going forward? I don’t know if this is doable in the long term.