I’m a 30F senior consultant for a large firm and I was seeing a 32M medical doctor. I went out with him 3 times, but in our last date I explained more of what I do as a consultant (essentially I’m a jack of all trades) and he didn’t seemed too pleased with it. He said because I didn’t specialize in anything, my job doesn’t seem too stable. It’s been 2 days and I haven’t heard anything from him since then, plus I already texted.
Why is dating so hard? Didn’t realize my own career can lose me points when it comes to dating sheesh
39 comments
Man you’re better off without that guy. Your career seem fine to me and you’re making money so that whats matter here. Dating is hard, yes totally agree. You just have to filter out the bad matches to get to the good ones because there are good ones out there.
Nah he just sounds like a looney 🤪 you’re sound. Some men would love you.
You have a job!! Lol these guys are ruining it for all if us men. I’d date a girl from McDonald’s lol. Thought being on 2nd shift was hard enough to date lol
He sounds like a bit of a pretentious idiot with no knowledge of the fact that being able to adapt, having a T profile and being flexible is an asset on the job market. He’s just old school uniformed, sounds like you dodged an uninteresting bullet. Was he interesting to you and were you really into him? If not, it’s not a loss…the alternative was you loosing time and effort to this judgemental guy. If he is all about money and didn’t care about your dreams, blegh. What a boring guy.
Sounds more like he was intimidated and tried to downplay what you do. You don’t need that negativity. Find someone who compliments you and your lifestyle
Women do this all the time and nobody bats an eye. I don’t see a big deal. You probably dodged a bullet OP.
Our job doesn’t define who we are. It’s what we do 🤷🏻♀️
That person has a lot of issues. For him, a relationship is a transactional thing. Well, I feel sorry for him since he won’t know true love and happiness! And that’s his greatest punishment for life.
Move on, and believe you’ll find your man who will love and cherish you the way you are!
Good luck! 🍀
Sounds like he chose to use that as his easy escape route. He showed you his true character so you’re probably better off dodging that bullet. There is nothing wrong with your job and being flexible, in the end that will help your résumé and give you more options for something in the future.
How do you know that is the reason if he hasn’t told you?
Dating sucks. I wish I was made to be okay with never wanting anyone in life
If he’s a doctor why does your career need to be stable?
This man desires no wife. This man wants a trophy.
The silence has nothing to do with your job. He’s just not into you, so he made a poor comment about your work. Don’t stress it. Just move on.
He prolly has a shit ton of student loan debt and needs someone help paying lol
I think a lot of jobs have a social stigma and people find it hard to think outside the box. So many jobs that pay well but are not socially acceptable, for example the gambling industry, are already a pass for some but not all people.
I come from a society where they judge you a lot based on the job that you do and here is my take on it, if you feel you are satisfied with your job no one else has any rights to even have opinions on what you do. It’s not like you are just sitting idle feeding on wealth of someone. If a person can’t respect that, well such a person does not deserves to be a part of your life. If you don’t like what you do, this is your problem just yours and no one should still be judging you on that. If your job affects their lifestyle, that can be their problem yes but ask yourself do you want to sign up for a relationship where you don’t even have freedom to take ownership of your own stuffs and rely on someone else’s opinion all the time just because it affects their lifestyle? Last time I read about relationships, it was more about compromises and how you overcome those TOGETHER!
When you put all these points together in a nutshell, I would say I am sorry to know about your experience but be glad at least you avoided a walking red flag from your life.
Well is he is doctor in his 30’s probably with a lot of options for those reasons alone. This was probably the nicest way to let you go, that he could think of.
Ugh…. All the Doctors I had the “fortune” of dating were way too picky to a point that I almost dread meeting them… they legit feel that they are entitled to a VP of a multinational corp with the body of a model and UNLIMITED PATIENCE for their needs ONLY
He probably looks at your job and the school you went to as status symbols.
He’s stuck in his own frame where specialization is how medicine has evolved.
This idea of general versus specialized knowledge was explored in the book [Range](https://www.amazon.com/Range-David-Epstein-audiobook/dp/B07N6MPWLS/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.5VBKuSSry4uz7wy1xSOTaAae0hAUUyy15dHz_GVQHDS_0cxGvIyXjtXWi982uYQauX5hBh_O6vulwLr77GDzNGXHa6QTcvbMp11qKPfY0k3-0X2NlWYj1EDUuuMCZ3LeuHsgQaO1UBjRY-mKZ4wncBRacKWGeM1J5xFHb2B2enTm1SPLU5A5GJo037Lfg-SmVK–vFPHEVuMnLXBYIMQBsqFs3Rq2bcTadwM6slK_7Q.-UCXMOHOWQHsZu_syoxP1AeZotU8kwlNJtxXgsmLZ7U&dib_tag=se&hvadid=695022072709&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=9031108&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=399956578353424149&hvtargid=kwd-1210212376986&hydadcr=22161_13541060&keywords=the+range+by+david+epstein&qid=1713901224&sr=8-1)
Sounds like you just wanted a doctor husband and it’s didn’t work. Imagine being a guy and every woman you meet sells MLM nonsense.
This is how men feel every time.
That’s wild, had it happen before also. Doesn’t make sense
You can be proud of yourself. There might be many reasons that can explain why he does not answer. Move on and hopefully the next one will be the good one.
Sounds like it wasn’t a good fit. Keep it movin. Fortunately, no extra time wasted with that guy
Usually people will try to find a reason that you cannot alter when rejecting you, in order to save face. For example, you can’t just change careers so it’s likely that he was just looking for a reason that wouldn’t make him come off like a jerk. It sucks, because most people will do everything they can not to be honest about “Just not Feelin’ It”, when it’s easier to just say that you weren’t feeling it.
In dating 99% of the time, if somebody is into you, they -find- reasons to like you.
Unfortunately, you do have to sort through a lot of people who aren’t what you’re after when you’re on your way to finding somebody.
Don’t let this one get you down, I’d be willing to bet that the type of person that says “You’re not specialized your job isn’t stable” (you’re a Sr. consultant for crying out loud—that sounds like an impressive title), probably is pretty fuckin insufferable.
Haha dude I get the frustration but it was only the third date, these things happen. Back on the horse lol
well if you said you’re a jack of all trades and he said because you didn’t specialize in anything and your job may not be stabled then he either envies you or probably did not fully comprehended that line. Yea dating can be complex but keep looking and you might just find one that is the opposite
Women do this to men all the time. All. The. Time.
Douche. Move on.
He sounds like he is more a Proctologist than a medical doctor … LOL. Forget him
Dating is hard because people are assholes arrogant not compassionate or empathetic! Both guys and girls. I am so sorry you are going through that. Don’t lose hope tho! I was on the dating apps for 2-3 years…. Went out on atleast 25 1 st dates and then finally met the one. We just got married in Nov. don’t worry you got this 🤞🏼🤞🏼
It seems like a good job. Your specialization is being good at a lot of stuff, or learning it quickly, which is harder than one might think. Keep your head up, the right one will come along eventually.
Sounds like you accidentally caught a catfish. Just toss him back in, no worries.
**>Why is dating so hard?**
Because you picked a dingleberry to date.
Doctors are the most difficult to date.
> Didn’t realize my own career can lose me points when it comes to dating sheesh
Everyone has preferences/deal-breakers. Accept it. Not everyone has the same ones. At least you didn’t waste months, years of dating/marriage/kids to find out.
**You are better off without him.**
Perhaps he displayed other red flags earlier that you ignored because he was a doctor, wealth off/attractive? People tend to ignore things when presented with shiny new objects.
That’s not the man for you then. That’s totally fine.
That’s pretty sad. People are really superficial with the type of dream relationship they want within their partner. You’re making great money same along like him yet he is criticizing you over it… like excuse me? Do I need to be Elon musk for you to consider me as a partner? Despite having enough there will always be that person who thinks that it isn’t enough.
It’s only ok for women to have those type of opinions on a partner’s career trajectory on Reddit.
Being a jack of all trades in your career is better and more stable than you realize, and he is an idiot for not seeing that. Having a specialty will only pigeon hole you in your industry
Sorry to hear that OP,
You’re better off with someone who will encourage you to push yourself further, value you for who you are and what you bring in his life. Most importantly, if your career is not stable, as long as he is financially savvy for the both of you, it should not really matter.
Modern dating has so many criteria these days and it sucks.
Physical attributes,
Finances,
Career,
Family reputation,
Religion,
Myrrs Briggs personality,
Attachment styles,
Diet,
Political leaning,
Pets…..
Bloody hell…….