My girlfriend and I fell in love hard and fast. We work together and are able to spend time around each other while we work. We have been in the relationship now for about 9 months.
The first few months of the relationship were great. We had great communication and made time for each other. We would lose time talking and despite the age gap our values and desires alligned. We dreamed, were great at showing compasion, and we became best friends.
Her past was communicated. She revealed that she had been in a long term abusive relationship, where she had 4 kids, a few years ago and that she still carries that around. She takes quire a few meds to help control her PTSD and anxiety and is still in therapy. My point is that at the time I thought I was able to be patient while she grew into a new relationship; redeveloping trust and new understanding.
Four months into the relationship something changed. She stopped dreaming and our communication outside of work stopped. It has been really hard since then. I feel like she took a major step backwards. Im having a very hard time understanding how to slow down and love easy. Im putting alot of stress into our relationship because I feel like she is pulling away but she is and has always been very honest and is only taking things slow. We have that trust and despite her trama we are working on ways to communicate our issues.
Quite honestly I’m struggling and we do talk about it but I’m not sure it makes it better anymore. I dont feel great about it but I dont know if I can do this. I love her completely but I feel like I might never become her significant other and instead only be someone she loves at a distance because she is having such a hard time with her confidence.
Im contemplating leaving my best friend and the person I love because the relationship we talked and dreamed about doesnt seem so close anymore. I dont know if I can wait for the relationship that may never develop. Im not comfortable feeling like an odd man out.
How does someone in my situation make such a decision? Im a confident person but im loosing my confidence.