I hope this is an appropriate subreddit for this question.
So I (25M) have not really dated in a decade due to severe porn and internet addiction and mental health issues. Now I’ve overcome those and I’m back from the dead. Suddenly I realize there are all these lovely women around me and well, I really want to date. As in find a partner, not engage much in low-commitment hookup culture.
The issue is that I’m not yet in a good place mentally. I’ve just started rebuilding my social life and seeing first success. Bottomline is that I’m still incredibly lonely tho. So I need to focus on my work, education, health, hobbies and building friendships. At the same time I want to carefully venture into the dating world.
The problem I have now is that my love-deprived mind behaves like back when I was 15. So instead of juggling all those things mentioned above at the same time, my brain basically goes “GILRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS”. It’s not that I come off desperate to others but it’s bothering me because I end up daydreaming about some girl that I approached instead of putting in the work where it matters.
**How do I focus on other, more important aspects of life when seeking romantic love seems to be the no. 1 thing my monkey brain craves right now?** Please don’t tell me to “*just get a girlfriend*”. It’s not that easy for me right now.