About a week ago, we were at a bar where she met this guy, who was maybe mid 30s – early 40s, let’s call him “Josh”. Anyhow, she seemed to hit it off with him. We were all sitting close to each other with our phones out, which is when I saw a text on Josh’s phone, out of the corner of my eye. It was a text saying something like “when are you coming home babe” with a heart emoji. I tuned into my friend and Josh’s conversation a little more, as I didn’t want to jump to conclusions right away. They continue talking, and he’s telling her about this new show he’s watching. I join the conversation, and then ask everyone if they want another round of drinks, which they say yes to. I ask my friend to come with me, and then I tell her about the text I saw.
She looks a little surprised but then we have to order drinks. We come back and she just asks him outright. He admits that he is, and I continue talking to my other friends, while still listening in. They continue talking and we all start doing our own thing. Later that evening, I got a text from her that she’s heading out, and I’m planning on doing the same soon.
The next morning, we text, as we always do, and I jokingly ask her if she went home with the married guy. I thought she was going to go with the bit, but she said yes in a serious tone. I asked her if she was kidding, she said she hadn’t. When I asked her why she did that, she said that it was going to happen anyways, he had gone to that bar with the intention of going home with someone that night, so why shouldn’t it be her? If it was going to happen no matter what – as he already had a few other people interested in him – it makes no difference if it’s her or someone else.
I always thought she was joking because she’s brought this up before as a running bit/joke in our friendship but the fact that she actually went through with it makes me super uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I should proceed with the friendship as I’m questioning her moral integrity. I also don’t know how to bring this up again, since she brushed off my concerns after our texts that morning.
This is a throwaway account. I normally just skim the posts here, never thought I’d be contributing. Thoughts?
TL;DR! My (25M) friend (25F) of 9 years had a one night stand with a married man and is trying to justify it because it was “going to happen anyways” according to her. I don’t think this is right and am rethinking our friendship because of it.