I know there are other communities to post this but want to ask here as everyone will likely be closer to my age and I feel that would make the answers more relatable.
I’ve struggled with this most of my life now and it’s severely impacted every conceivable aspect of it. When not medicated, it is so bad that I have actual physical tremors and body temperature rises sometimes when close to others or especially when speaking in a group setting.
I took stronger medication than I am currently taking and I saw a glimpse of who I could have been without the senseless fear and anxiety plaguing my mind on the constant. Unfortunately that took a pretty big physical toll on my body and I have had to quit, then move back onto much weaker medication that helps far less.
This has also led me to abuse alcohol and other calming drugs as a bandaid solution to get through the day sometimes.
As a grown man, I feel ashamed that I am having these problems although after therapy I now know it is from childhood trauma and PTSD, etc. Even so I judge myself for it harshly and rightly so because it has really hindered my career progress among so many other things.
I mean, I have a job and a wife live on my own and am responsible enough but still it’s kept me from doing so much more. I also feel a lot of guilt that I haven’t been able to do better to provide a more lucrative life for her as well because of this.
Just wondering how many other grown dudes here still have this issue. If so, how do you deal with it or mask it? Has it hindered your life and growth as well?