It’s been a weird week lately. I used to non-exclusively date these two guys, from two different timelines, back in our late teenage years.
Guy A, I met when I was 16 and he was 19. The short story goes is we clicked and got close as friends. But then, one day I called him and he told me he was busy and said he’d talk to me later, but never called back. I never chased after him. Rather, I just accepted the ghosting and moved on. We never hooked up and our chemistry was very short-lived that was ever just kissing. 25 years later, we each are now married with our own partners and have our own kids. Just a week ago, he calls me via Facebook asking why I left him years ago. I was confused and just told him we had nothing as far as dating title and that we fell apart quietly. It sounded like he wasn’t happy with his marriage or something but he denied that.
Guy B, I met when I was 19. He actually drove 1hr 45min from his dorm to visit me each weekend that we were seeing each other. We shared mutual friends and we clicked and even went out on a date or two. But he had an emergency to leave to Louisiana for his mom after the Hurricane Katrina. Unfortunately, even after I called him to chat while there he said he was busy and would call me back. He never did despite after returning to the state and months went by. Again, thought I got the hint and never called him again. We fell apart in silence and I moved on to officially having a boyfriend, but I didn’t expect it to be a close friend of his…. The bf and I had broken up once, only because my family was not impressed with him. Anyway, Guy B decided to call me the day after my breakup, to catch up with me, ask if I was okay since my break up, and asked the same question as Guy A. “Why did you leave me?” I said, “you never called me back. You were busy with your mom. I get it. But I also didn’t hear from you when you came back…So, I moved on.”
My question is….What is up with guys putting blame on girls (or maybe just me) for thinking I ghosted them? I so clearly remember being the last person to have called these guys only to be told they were busy and left me hanging. AITA for not calling either one of them back, just because they chose not to call me back and continued the silence streak, and only to finally call me years later asking for closure? This is one weird phone tag story, but I just want to know what goes on in a guy’s head at 19 years old? Are they just wanting more action like a hookup? Were they really expecting me to call them back? Or even expect me to wait this long (hell no, I won’t).