And it in the end, it never works. Funny how it works backwards.
I am athletic and tall at 6’3, objectively a 6,5/7 face, but have a pretty soft and reserved personality, although I like the occasional night out at the club or drunken bender. Also, I’m a good listener and consider myself pretty empathetic. And all of my girl friends agree that I am the nicest guy they’ve ever known. I have my vices though, I used to smoke cigarettes, switched to vaping now.
So I am supposedly a “catch”, but I keep attracting girls in the same “archetype”, no matter where I meet them from (dating app, real life, mutual friends, work…). All of my last LTRs or situationships ( like 4-5 of them in a row) had this same exact profile :
* Very empathetic and caring at first, praising me for having a man being such a good listener. They show their “soft” side really quickly after getting to know me.
* Unstable parent figures
* Used to have casual sex phases, but see me as boyfriend material right away. However, eager to sleep with me fast during dating phases.
* Lightly tattooed
* Mild tobacco smokers (at most 5-8 cigarettes a day)
* Typically reserved girls in public settings, but absolute demons in bed
* Often proud of their “independent” persona
* Avoidant attachment tendencies : hard time trusting men, ghosting, cold shoulder, stonewalling at one point or another. The dynamic slowly reverses to them showing a more “masculine” frame, their feminity and softness fading away.
In the end, these relationships always crash and burn, because I’m the typical anxious attacher. Very high highs, very low lows. Anyone could grasp the psychology of my dating history and help me rationalize why that would happen?