I was in a bad headspace for a couple years and I’ve been pushing myself to improve and reconnect with others now. I had a group of friends when I was a teenager. We all lost touch over the years, but I couldn’t tell if you if it was due to natural causes or because of me shutting down social media and pushing away everyone. I don’t know when I last spoke to any of them but it was probably 2018 or 2019. I’m not sure how many, if any, of them stayed in touch either.
Last year, one of them reached out for my address to send me a wedding invite. It was the first time I had spoken to any of them in years. I can’t explain why but I just ghosted her when she reminded me to RSVP. I feel really embarrassed about that. I saw pictures that a 2nd got married and felt bad that I wasn’t even invited (not that I expected it). So when a 3rd reached out, I accepted. Now I regret saying yes. I was hoping the other two wouldn’t attend, but they are, and now I’m very nervous because I will probably be seated at the same table.
My question is, any advice on how to address the situation? I’m overthinking everything and it’s hard to convince myself to not just tell friend 3 I’m sick and ghost everyone permanently. Do I apologize? Do I reference the weddings I missed at all? Do I just pretend everything is okay and be as charming as possible?
tl;dr, I was a bad friend in the past but I want to do better and attend social events again. How do I deal with seeing old friends at a wedding?