I am actually a loser, no if or buts around it. I’m 26 but due to a combination of the pandemic and health issues and real bad anxiety I haven’t been able to finish uni. All of my peers have already graduated and have been in the workforce for a couple of years. I am behind, people younger than me who I personally know, younger family, have graduated and have started working in the workforce. I feel ashamed. I’m working on it and do hope to finish uni soon, so I am not completely hopeless.
The problem is that I have to attend an important event no matter what and I have to enjoy it because the person who is hosting it is important to me and it is a big milestone. If I could skip it and meet no one I would, but I can’t. If I could make it so that no one would have to meet me until I am worthy of meeting then I would do that, but once again, I have to attend this. And I have to enjoy it. And I don’t want it to be painful and like pulling teeth, like the feeling I get when I’m asked questions like what do you do?
My question is, how do I socialize and meet people and not give the impression that I know I am a gigantic loser. That I feel less than and unworthy of conversation. That they know this too. That they are talking to me out of obligation or proximity. I know people can feel insecurity from other people and sometimes that is off-putting. How do I not give off that impression? I know it’s change your mindset blah blah blah, stop calling yourself a loser, blah blah, but it’s objectively true, ain’t no way around it. Anyone gone through this? What did you do? Fake it till you make it? How? What did it feel like? Once again, my number one plan was to hide away until I become a contributing member of society but that isn’t viable right now since I have to attend the event, what can I do?
I will know close to no one and I will not be able to hang on or around the person who is important to me all night since this is their event and they have to spend time and celebrate with everyone.
Tl;dr
I am, objectively, a 26 year old loser who has to attend an important milestone event of a person important to me. I can not miss it, how do I not come off as someone who is incredibly insecure about being a loser?