I've been doing online dating for the last hmmm 11 years or so probably, dated a few people off of it.
I mostly date women (I'm a woman) and ya, it is very different. All the women have been very passive and 99.9% of the time, I am the one making the date happen. At this point, I've been on probably over 100 first dates (a portion being men when I was more open to it when I was younger).
2-3 years ago I did a lot of healing work and I approach my dating very differently (was anxiously attached/FA before and leaning quite secure now and approach every aspect of life differently). I was casting a wide net when I was younger and only the tiniest of those dates went onto be 2nd dates.
Back then, I CHASED, I spent and wasted a lot of energy back then and I now filter a lot more, sometimes opting for a video date to test the waters first before an actual meet. Now that I'm not making things happen and pushing it as much, I'm not going on many dates but also, I'm less fatigued and putting my energy elsewhere and it feels right but also getting more jaded.
I'm trying in person way more (not just doing online) but that's not getting anywhere not for lack of energy or trying on my part – the other person is not responding to my flirtiness or they aren't initiating convos and it's all me again so new me, gives it a few tries, then I stop and I move on. Yay me for no longer chasing! Some people may not be good texters, I certainly dated someone on/off that wasn't (but we were wildly not compatible); texting and communication is important for me to connect and feel a person out and no, I don't expect amazing banter or quantity right off the bat but I do expect a good enough conversation where it flows, it feels natural, there are questions, expanding and I'm curious/interested to meet and I WILL ask the person out should that happen. It's not been happening often as of the the last year.
My friend who's done a little bit of online dating and went through a "fun" phase and now getting more serious with 1 guy and she's convincing me to give people more chances but after having been on the 100+ first dates, I don't think there was a single person where they just weren't a compatible communicator via text but when we met in person I was wowed and it just clicked.
Last person I went on a date with where we didn't exchange that many texts and I just went for it, I was trying on the date but they seemed to have made up their mind within 5 minutes of meeting me that they weren't interested, thought I'd still be positive about it, maybe it was in my head, spent 2-3 hours on the date trying to make it fun and we didn't contact each other again after. I did try to get more conversations on dating apps going with some people recently because of friend's push (it really felt forceful though) but I just wasn't feeling the person/profile/conversation to meet. Those last few experiences solidified it a bit more for me about the convo needing to be interesting enough to meet. If their profile sucks, and the convo is good, it just meant they were bad at filling in their profile. The most interesting people I meet are in person because of the various activities I do which sometimes are outside of the box (though those don't turn out romantic, so far, unfortunately because that'd be the most ideal!).
TLDR: Basically, have not been proven wrong thus far that bad texting/communication pre-date = good date in person and perhaps lead to a second date. I want to mix giving people/myself/my love life chances but also following my intuition (that took a while to build/find) and not just going on dates "because, you never know".
I've taken breaks off the apps and dating here and there as needed. They seem to happen more and more mostly cuz of disappointments. I'll try a bunch, hit a wall, stop. The people I'm interested in I write original messages and I rarely get liked back and if I do, often they don't follow up with a message. Sometimes I'll try with another message, but it doesn't go anywhere or gets ignored. So usually if I like someone with a message and all they do is swipe right and don't engage, I don't try because if they were interested/had similar dating intentions, they'd write.
I'm curious about people's take on this or rather experience on this. Perhaps it'll open my mind or start a conversation going.