Is anyone else afraid to have sex?

34 comments

1. It’s pretty normal. I was shaking when I realized I was about see a naked girl in front of me

2. It’s normal to be afraid of new things. Like driving, or meeting people. But sex is something new with someone hopefully familiar to you, and that’s why it doesn’t have to be scary. Have fun with it, your first time won’t be perfect.

3. No, I didn’t feel afraid or nervous, however I didn’t last at all which was a hit to my ego…

4. Dude, my first time I was in intense sweat, paler than Voldemort, a bit dizzy. My ex gf would be concerned when she saw how bad I looked like « wtf dude, you ok ? » and all I could say at the gaze of her perfectly round melons was a half mumbled « mmmmyeee »

   Don’t worry you’ll be silly and goofy with your heart racing, but it’s gonna be alright

5. Very picky on who I give my V card to

6. You do you! Don’t worry about everyone else. Half of them are probably lying.

   Sex is the gift of pleasure that you give to someone you love or really like. When you find that person, it will come naturally. You’ll be nervous but you’ll be ready.

7. I almost passed out the first time I had sex. It was just a myriad of feelings and emotions I’d never felt before so strongly in my life. It’s OK to feel weird about it, but I would argue that it’s not healthy to suppress that over the course of your lifetime. Take some time to think about what makes you uncomfortable with sex, read about it online, try to talk to someone or talk to a therapist. Of course if you literally never want to have sex, that is OK too, but if you plan to one day, you will want to understand how to deal with those feelings. It can and likely will always be intense, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be intense in a bad way.

   And I say this from experience. With the right person, not only will they understand you in this regard, they will comfort you and help you to deal with the anxiety of it. Don’t let yourself fall to peer pressure or someone trying to force you into sex. It’s never a good idea.

8. Yes I was terrified. But I was so glad when it finally happened.  And I was the shortest lasting male on the planet.  19yrs old at the time. 

9. I was so nervous my penis shriveled up. True story.

10. Not the first time I had sex, but one of the earlier times in my life. We tried some awkward positions and before I know it, I fractured my dick. Moral of the story, stick to the basic missionary and doggy, you’ll be fine.

11. I’m almost twice your age and the idea of having sex makes me nervous.
    The chance of it happening isn’t high, so it’s pointless worry.

12. Main reason why i am still a virgin.

13. Terrified lmao, I worry I might fuck it up

14. Yeah

15. i’m 22 and at this point i think i’m either asexual or idk. it would make feel so vulnerable and awkward and i don’t like my body so there’s that

16. Totally normal to feel that way, saving it for marriage is too expensive a way to find out your not compatible in that area, meeting someone you are attracted to in every aspect is the best way to go, it will be natural and forgiving. It’s like riding a bike all bikes are different, find one that fits, but no one wants a bike that’s been ridden to hard.
    Wait for someone decent, Sex remorse is all too real. Peace hope you get your end away with the right fit soon. Ps don’t want to see you posting about parental advice, stay safe

17. Me lol

18. Used to be terrified for a long time. Found out that it’s nothing scary about it. Just communicate well and do what you both agree to.
    Porn has ruined it for a lot of virgins, you don’t need to do acrobatics in bed

19. Yes I’m 17 and I get you im nervous of the fact that someone’s gonna be inside me and see me naked

20. Only with the wrong women.

    Oh man.. there were woman I really feared in bed

21. M24 here looking for any F have place to just dm me if any F intrested

22. I used to be terrified of sex and stayed a virgin until I was 22(F). I was brought up in a very conservative and Catholic household, and for most of my life, I believed in the “sanctity” of marriage and pre-marital sex was a no-go. But I made a decision for myself last year (my views and beliefs have changed by this time), and I lost my virginity with a stranger. It did not work out like I wanted to, but I got over it. It was a pretty terrifying moment for me, but I quickly moved on, and the next person I did it is now my current boyfriend.

    Two things you have to make sure if you’re gonna do it:
    1) You do it on your own time when you feel ready to do so, not because somebody else told you when and where you can do it. You’re 18. If you feel peer pressured to have sex, don’t do it. There’s nothing more terrifying than being caught in a situation where you don’t want to be in. (This was the same for me but in reverse, my entire family would go wild and believe that I am being promiscuous for having sex outside of marriage. But this is about me, not them. I am not going to be pressured NOT to have sex when I know deep down I am ready.) Read that first sentence again.

    2) Make it a learning experience. Look at sex as how you look at a hobby or craft you want to learn: you’ll pick up skills along the way, but that will not happen unless you give it a go. And you certainly will not be a master at your first try. And like any other hobby or craft, we all do research. Going on with a bit of knowledge on your first try may boost your confidence more.

    Just have fun. Sex is not as deep as movies, books, or people on general make it seem. On the contrary, it’s one of those things that are a bit anticlimactic (this is genuinely my reaction on my first try). Doing it with someone you genuinely like is what makes it meaningful.

23. You’ve already gotten a great deal of encouragement and testimonials of how normal this is haha, so I’ll give you some tips for your situation (that I wish someone had told me when I was your age).

    This will be controversial, but “getting it over with” worked pretty well for me. I stressed and worried about sex so much that even when I got the chance to do it, I made up excuses, because I was that scared of messing up, looking dumb, not knowing what to do, or a thousand other things. Nothing else helped but saying “Fuck it”, deciding to man up and do it even though it was scary.

    And honestly, I’m glad I did. A couple years later now my sex life is great and the days of worrying about it so much feel like forever ago. I would recommend finding a partner you trust and feel comfortable with (easier said than done), communicating HONESTLY about being nervous, and TAKING IT SLOW. As slow as you need. Sex is better as a marathon than a sprint, read the yelp reviews 😉

    Good luck though man, I know it’s tough now but I absolutely promise it will get better!

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25. Well.., everyone’s nervous the first time.

26. Well me too i am 38 but due to many chronic illness i didnt have it until today. It seems weird.

27. Nope. I was a little nervous the first time but the amount of horny I felt was so great after she took her clothes off that it all went away…if I feel nervous that’s how it goes.

28. I was nervous

29. Growing in an predominantly Christian Asian country where you’re told by everyone around you that sex is bad and seeing the consequences too (teenage pregnancy) fucks up your image of sex. Female, 24 and still a virgin. Imagine the shock I felt when seeing close friends & classmates already formed a family left and right. Am I the only one left? Where did you all collectively start having sex? IDK.

30. I realized that aside from one partner who was amazing in that we had a great connection,
    I don’t enjoy sex. Many men expect it on the first date or that’s their plan.
    Men I was married to as well, I didn’t want it, like it and basically did it to get him to leave me alone.

31. That’s why I’m still dating eva ai

32. Don’t be scared. Always be yourself!! Always be truthful to yourself!! Any girl will love this.

33. That’s kinda normal if anything it’s rare for a boy to be afraid of sex, usually women are more reserved when it comes to having sex, but still it’s not weird to be afraid.

34. Honestly, you may not be ready to take that step. Ik there’s a lot of pressure on men to have sex but not everyone is ready that early. There’s nothing to worry about. I was ready at 20. Before that, I was getting nervous at the thought of even going on a date bc at that age, sex is almost expected after a date.
    Another possibility is you may not want to have sex with girls. That is also okay. You can explore that through videos, erotica books, and seeing if you can picture yourself with a man. This one may be more difficult to accept that accepting you may not be ready, but if the second possibility is the case, accepting it will be liberating.
    It could also be you’re asexual. Asexuals can get aroused. Getting aroused is a natural part of being human post puberty. Asexuals however, aren’t interested in sex with another person. They may enjoy porn, or they may not, but having sex with someone isn’t something they’re interested in. They can still do it, and it’ll probably be quite mechanical. The third possibility may be the hardest one to accept since asexuality is very rarely talked about and not very socially accepted yet.