My wife (42f) has discovered she gets a good "feels" from chatting & sexting with guys online, instead of trying (interrupting me scrolling in my phone) with me (44m), I get I am not the most emotional sort.
But I am horney alot and between these online boyfriends and our busy daily life, it is hard for me to initiate and I get rejected 9 out of 10 times, so sex is monthly at best.
I want to have more regular good "feels" and have been thinking about getting a heppy ending massage to get my those "feels" between when my wife wants to have sex with me.
Is what she is doing cheating?
Is what I plan want worse then what she is doing?
Are we just filling a need in our relationship and it's ok as long as it doesn't interfere elsewhile?
Extra context:
I found out about the online guys by snooping on her phone, she now has a complex pin that I can't guess.
When ever we talk about it abiut 2 sentence in, I am blamed and have to accept and apologise and that is the end of the conversation, I am never able to express my feelings or needs.