I’ve never been so blindsided…
He cheated on me with a co worker, 2 days before anniversary, and then turns it on me
Hello everyone,
Just yesterday I found out that my bf, who I started dating 2yrs ago, told me, after lying to my face when asked, that he cheated on me 2 days before our 2yr anniversary. And he’s been keeping it for last three weeks, and still hung at her place with co workers and talked to her, as he said it, “to make things normal”. He even texted me when he went there second time knowing I did not know they had sex.
How I know?
I knew he cheated because when this act happened he couldn’t get hard for 3 weeks, and kept saying it was “stress” and felt pressure over not being able to “make me finish”. We’ve been doing middle distance, he works and lives at his job and I live 2hrs away, but we drive to see each other every other weekend or every weekend. Sex hasn’t been as good as when we stayed dating cause we saw each other less cause of, you won’t believe it, ADULTING happened. In the spring he started traveling a lot for work so we saw each other less but I was supportive cause he was happy!
Also, I’ve been trying to move for grad school and he’s known that for a while and spent a year studying (which he was supportive). He admitted that our future worries him, because how less time we now spend and me leaving for law school versus when we first started dating in college. But leading up to when I found out he cheated I got offered a scholarship for a grad school that’ll keep me in state and a job that’ll allow me to see him more, and he got a new place that he asked me to help him move to and how he’s so excited for us to stay there together. Now he’s saying us breaking up for best because he “has doubts about our future” and “not sure he can give me what I want”, even tho he’s the one that cheated. And when I asked him more concrete reasons versus “idk I can’t explain” he can’t. He won’t even say why he cheated…
Can someone explain this behavior? How do you cheat, cry begging for forgiveness and second chance, then flip it on your partner?
Side note: in the past I’ve asked him to put more effort for my sexual needs and taking care of himself as I do for him. And he’s expressed him not feeling like good enough in our bed room as me . I also got a second job working at a casino and that worried him. And he comes from a richer privledge background where I’ve worked all my life and that’s made him self conscious that I’m “ahead”