How important is physical attraction in a long-term relationship for you?

30 comments

  1. Very, but not in the way you may mean. It’s incredibly important that I’m physically attracted to my partner, and I’ve been incredibly physically attracted to my partner for the nearly 20 years we’ve been together.

    Do either of us look the same as when we met? No.

    Are either of us super-hot 20 somethings? Also no.

    We are however super hot for each other and to each other, so the physical attraction is fantastic.

  2. Very Important to me. I want them to enjoy eating healthy and like to workout.

  3. Crucial.

    Every potential date and long term partner has to be compatible with all my attraction dealbreakers.

  4. Really important. My ex husband started to let himself go and not take care of himself like he used to. He just couldn’t be bothered anymore. Nothing I said helped yet I was expected to remain slim and have nice hair and makeup. I found myself turned off by him and not even wanting to kiss him. Just didn’t fancy him anymore. When we split he lost a little weight and went back to the barbers but still wore scruffy clothes with holes in and still wasn’t how he used to be. How he got a new girlfriend I’ll never know but yes physical affection is still really important.

    Thankfully my current partner keeps his regular barber appointment, watches his weight and dresses really well. I’m ridiculously attracted to him and shower him with compliments regularly. We’ve been together years too.

  5. I get attracted to a persons personality first and then develop physical attraction for them. I can recognize that someone is hot but long term it has to be a mental and emotional attraction first.

  7. I don’t think you can have a long term relationship be successful without it.

  8. attraction is necessary regardless.. if i cant look at them 😬, no! i think my husband is the sexiest guy alive, but i mean glad that not everyone agrees with me. call it shallow, but i call it how it is.

  11. Very. Looks fade with age and the initial, most hormonal stages of the relationship pass, so it’s better to have a higher starting position if you want it to last.

    I tried looking past appearance for the sake of personality and relationship and it ended badly each time. One of the guys tried to make me feel like it was him who settled for me and compromised on appearance. He wrote me a very long, angry message saying he deserves someone more attractive than me. Turns out, he was resentful of girls not giving him the time of the day before me because of his not conventionally attractive looks, and when we got together, he started thinking less of me, and since he could “score” me, he could do better.

    On the receiving end, it’s also heartbreaking to realize that you were settled for. If you aren’t physically into each other, might as well just stay friends, since the traits for a good friend and a compatible romantic partner largely overlap.

  13. I was in some way attracted to my husband when we first got married (it’s a long story – I didn’t have a ton of choice in who I married), but as we’ve grown older, he’s just .. not my type, now that I’m out of the cult I grew up in and realized you can have visceral attraction to someone.
    It complicates things. I don’t love it.

  14. Like depends on what kind. I want us both to hit the gym together but I don’t expect any perfectionism and for him to be buff from the beginning. It’s a process. I also want him to be open to good fashion and stuff

  15. It’s important, but I wouldn’t say very important. I have to have somewhat of a physical attraction to them and also a mental attraction.

  17. With how i met my current amazing boyfriend (tinder) was suuuper important, i almost didnt swipe on him because his bio was 1 sentence, but i thought “he is so handsome omg lets see what happens” and here we are almost 4 months together🥰

  18. Very. I can’t have sex with someone I don’t find attractive and I’m not interested in a sexless relationship.

  19. I think there is a misconception that women don’t feel the need to be physically attracted to their partners. I absolutely need that. Does that mean they need to be a model? No. What it means is they need to physically take care of themself (work out but eats pizza body is fine), dresses well (not like a drunk toddler picked out their clothes in the dark), have good grooming habits (e.g. haircuts, shaves, takes care of their skin, washes all the bits that should be washed daily), and they make an effort in their appearance.

  20. Not so important if it’s just the face as long as my
    Needs are met –

    If he’s getting gross or dirty that is something else

  21. Attraction is as important to me as sex is to him. I’m not forcing myself to have sex with someone I’m not attracted to.

  24. It’s a must. It must be there initially or there won’t be any romantic interest for me. And I want a partner who takes care of himself, as I do. I accept aging and the inevitable changes from it, but most people can stay about as attractive as they were when younger, relative to their age and with reasonable self-care.

  25. I’d say very, but also my perception of how attractive someone is changes as our relationship evolves so someone who I might have never considered attractive can become incredibly so as we become close

  26. Very! But what I’m attracted to can be on a sliding scale. I can initially find someone mildly attractive but then they do something and suddenly every other person looks ugly asl

  27. It’s very important to me, but I tend to go for people who don’t necessarily fall under the category of “classically hot”. I like kind eyes, a nice smile, an interesting nose, nice hands – my best friend said my last crush was “a 7/10 if she had a glow-up” (I’m not offended lol, she’s allowed to say that).
    A lot of the physical attraction comes through their energy as well.

    That said, I completely agree with the commenter who said that looks change with age and that it’s less important to look like 20 somethings when you’re no longer that age, but are still super attractive to each other.

  28. Physical attraction is part of the deal. Enough so that it’s pretty important to me. I think that’s the case with most people.

    Now, with that said… I’ve never been in a romantic, long-term relationship where I wasn’t pretty attracted to the other person. But I could maybe see at some point in my life, when I’m older, where physical attractiveness may become less important. My desire to be with someone I connect with in other ways may take priority. I dunno. Might just be a bridge I cross and we’ll see what happens.

    With that said, I’m with someone now that I am physically attracted to. I love her deeply. Been with her for years now. So maybe that alternate scenario won’t even have a chance to surface for me.

  29. Top 10 most important things

    I don’t think I’d ever date someone I wasn’t attracted to

    But, loving someone makes them more attractive and I think that’s the big thing

  30. Important enough. My bf and I are really attracted to each other , when I come over and stay the night we don’t get much sleep he he . It’s amazing and I’m never tired of it . He isn’t muscular , but he’s sexy to me . His eyes got me first . Then the rest followed .

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