My (27f) husband (28m) and I haven’t had sex since April and before then it was 3 months since that one time, where neither of us finished. Before the sex in April, we had a talk about our sex life and how we both are unhappy and what we wanted to change (we have had this talk many times before and it’s always changed almost nothing).
Backstory: my husband and I have been together 8 years, married 1, we also were long distance while in college (3 years) and never had a healthy sex life because of the distance so we would go 3-6 months without sex but also without seeing each other in person. My therapist has suggested we try to tell each other our cues of when we wanted to have sex or just flat out say it till we learn what they are for each other.
Anyway, before this talk he had tried to tease me by texting me I can’t wait to have you tonight blah blah blah and then when it came time for bed I just kind of shrugged it off because that’s always what those texts lead to, just falling asleep the second he gets into bed and then nothing happens. He got upset that I was seeing genuine advances as empty promises and that’s what prompted the conversation inApril. I’ve stopped getting my hopes up for sex.
I feel so alone and unwanted in this situation and I’ve told him this. I’ve tried to initiate sex but he’s recently told me that he’s trying to work through some things and that he’ll talk to me when he comes to terms with what’s wrong and what is happening to make him not want sex or whatever it is that’s impacting our sex life.
I have no idea what that could be because he won’t tell me. I’m terrified that it’s because of how I look. (I’ve gained more than a few pounds since we started dating, he has as well)
I am getting impatient and also incredibly horny, yea I have a battery operated friend but I don’t like that as much as sex with him. (The sex with him is never what I want and I don’t ever finish with him. It’s pleasurable yes but not enough to make me finish. But I still love it cause it’s with him)
I just had to take a cold shower and I feel like I’m one of the only women going through this because aren’t men supposed to have a sex drive that’s almost impossible to keep up with???
1 comment
Oh my goodness