me and my bf are obsessed with each other and it’s causing problems

Hi, I am new to this and hope I do everything right. I am a 24 year old male and my boyfriend is 23 year old male. We’re both Latino. We have been together for about 3 years and met on a dating app. When I met him, I was just expecting a hook up. But he actually seemed really nice so we met more and more. And eventually, we decided to become exclusive. I was in no way ever expecting a relationship to happen as I’ve never been in one. But we just clicked so well together. We started to see each other more and more until it became… Slightly obsessive. We love watching TV shows and movies and playing video games. We both lived with our parents, so we would spend all our time in my car. It went from 1-2 hours, to 3-5 hours, until eventually we would be spending more than half the day with each other in my car just talking, smoking, or watching something. It was honestly so amazing since I’ve never had a friend (more on that later). We eventually saved up enough money from our security officer jobs to rent out a studio, which we’ve been living in for the past few months. The problem is, we have been absolutely inseparable since. We wake up with each other, go to sleep, eat, and shower together. We even sometimes follow each other in the bathroom to do our toilet business. I know it’s crazy but I have to be honest to get the best advice. We also go to each other’s job so there wouldn’t be anytime spent away from each other (this is possible because our jobs are a joke, no one checks on us, and we just spend the whole shift smoking and watching Netflix.) now I know the image you must have of us is fat ugly losers with acne, but we’re both actually fairly attractive.

The issue now is, he has recently been stressing me out so much by how verbally abusive he is towards me. The reason for this is mainly because of my disorders. I won’t speak much on this because it deserves a post if it’s own, but I either have severe social anxiety or avoidant personality disorder. I never spoke to a medical professional about it but have done enough research. I’ve had it my whole life, I’ve never had friends and I act extremely awkward in social situations. I would go most days in school without saying a word and was seen as that guy that might shoot up the place one day. I was actually straight most of my life, but social anxiety and females is like water and oil. Men don’t care as much so I was kind of forced to be gay to have some sort of sex life. Unfortunately, adulthood has only exacerbated these conditions. My boyfriend is different. He actually had friends and was very social and was even popular at that. That’s why he always gets mad at me now, because he feels as though it’s my fault he no longer has a social life and he blames me all the time for it. We have been constantly arguing lately about such stupid stuff, but it always ends with him mentioning how I ruined his life. And I feel like I kind of did. He used to have friends and a bunch of followers on social media. But now that he spends his time with me, his friends eventually faded away and he’s lost a bunch of followers since he doesn’t post anything anymore. But it’s not my fault, if anything, he was the one that wanted to always hang out with me mostly. Now it’s come to a point where he curses at me, calling me a “fucking no life loser” or “nobody has or will ever love a piece of shit like you”, things like that. He even tried to hit me once but he weighs 130 pounds and I weigh over 200, so I’m not gonna say exactly what happened after but let’s just say he never tried that shit again. I’m not stopping him from going out, I actually encourage him to be with other people if that’s what he pleases. But he says it’s already too late and now he feels like he has social anxiety too. Which is actually true, he used to be so social and confident, now he acts sort of like I do in social situations, which shocked me.

I’m not trying to make him seem like a monster, because that’s so far from the truth. He’s actually very sweet and loving. He tells me he loves me multiple times everyday, and apologizes about 90% of the time after we argue. And we only argue maybe 3-4 times a week, but when we do, it gets ugly and is so mentally draining. I’ve come to the conclusion that he has anger management issues and doesn’t know how to express that particular feeling. The time we spend together feels like literally a dream come true, something that I always wanted. To watch my favorite shows and talk to my best friend about the crazy moments and what we think of it. To share our explosive laughter with each other when we watch comedies together while smoking weed. To lay on a warm lap and getting my hair stroked with his fingers while I play my favorite video games. And I know he truly loves me. I see guys that are better than me in every aspect in his DM’s but he still chooses a screwed up guy like me. He never controls me or takes advantage of me in any way. The reason I’m making this post is because he actually had to drop his dad off a few states away a few days ago, so I was alone for a few days for the first time in 3 years. And it was the worst thing ever. I cried myself to sleep every night and felt so lonely. He also feels the same and expressed how depressed he feels cause he’s not with me. He comes back today, but this time apart made me realize that maybe I should see what other people think of this relationship and get advice. I would literally be ok with living my life like this, but I feel like he wants to go out, but humans outside scare me. He’s constantly trying to get me to go out with him. He even offers to take baby steps, for example, he said instead of eating in a restaurant, let’s eat in the parking lot away from people. But I can still see the people and I just get so much anxiety and just want to stay home. And he just got fed up.

One last thing I should mention is that we have cheated on each other multiple times, but I honestly don’t see this as a big deal. Romance in today’s society is fucked, and you’re in denial if you don’t believe that. Sex is just sex. I believe there are those few loyal ones, but that’s like hitting the lottery. He cheated on me first, but I’ll be honest, he just beat me to it which is why I wasn’t super angry. We do fight about that, but we fight about my mental issues wayyyyy more and I really mostly care about how he treats me. So what should I do? Is it OK to live a life like this and not want better for myself? How can I convince him that his anger and insults really affect me negatively?

Edit: I’m getting a vibe from some of the replies here that I’m some sort of bad evil person. Just FYI I have no group b personality disorders. I’m extremely kind to everyone I meet and actually have no enemies at all in this world, which is something not too many people can say. I just have been through a very rough childhood of public housing, foster care, and neglect which is why I have the problems I do. (we also brought in two homeless cats into our small studio from our jobs because we felt bad, if that gives me any smiles from any animal lovers)

Tl:Dr I think me and my bf are spending too much time together , but I’m afraid of being alone and he has started to become upset because of his isolation, what should I do?