Do you ever find someone sexy but during first hook up, you realise there’s smith missing in the chemistry? Or 1st times are always awkward?

16 comments

1. I feel like the first few times are a learning process. If you like the person, make sure you’re both communicating and talking (“I like it this way…”). The real test is whether your partner adapts and improves each time, and adapts to your needs. And vice versa. If it doesn’t improve or continues to be awkward, then it makes sense to cut things off. IMHO. Good luck!

2. Or shall we sleep together at least once more to see ?

   I have and it didn’t get better, in fact it got more awkward. Just because someone looks good, like a nice cover on a book, it doesn’t mean things will get better sexually when you read further in.

3. I find first times are always a little awkward. I definitely suggest giving it a few more times before making up your mind about true chemistry.

4. Absolutely. Usually it’s because it feels like we have no intuition about the other person. There’s no…continuity? It feels disjointed. Like we’re doing the physical equivalent of a paint by number. If that makes sense.

   I usually give it another few tries to see if it was a fluke. I’ve yet to have it be a fluke but I remain hopeful nonetheless.

   I don’t find first times awkward across the board, fwiw.

5. First times don’t always have to be awkward. Sometimes you can really click with a partner!

6. The first time is almost always awkward, don’t worry about it.

7. I guess it depends on what made it awkward, honestly. If it was awk because you are adjusting to a new body, I think that’s fine. Some fumbling, elbows in odd places, whatever.

   If it was awk because it felt like you didn’t want to be there or that you weren’t totally in the moment, that may be a problem.

8. My first time with my wife was fireworks both ways. Never looked back.

9. Depends on the awkward:
   1) awkward + didn’t enjoy myself
   2) awkward + something’s here.

   Anyone that I had explosive first times with ended in fiery wreckage with fond memories. 🤷🏻‍♀️

10. First time with new partner was fireworks and beyond, but I was not feeling 100% and had to get out of my head a bit and had some Performance issues, but we communicated and by the third time it was fireworks all around. Communication is key and a willingness to listen and pay attention to cues. Awkward happens all the time, but if you communicate it can be overcome.

11. Sometimes chemistry doesnt translate into sexytime. With one of my exes, I had an intense attraction, and talking to him I always felt this very palpable tension and intimacy. However, as soon as we got physical – completely vanished. Was not really into it despite him being very handsome.
    So, I say if you like him outside the bedroom, give it another few dates, because it could genuinely be first time awkwardness and nerves. But it’s also possible your attraction doesnt extend to physical intimacy, and that’s ok to walk away from if sex is important to you.

12. If there’s smith missing you’re never going to forge a bond with them.

13. I agree with everyone else. Give it a couple more tries. I’d say the second time you should be enjoying it more, by the third time you’ll be able to know that you’re just not working on a sexual level. But the first time isn’t great most of the time. Even when it’s pretty good, there’s room for improvement

14. That hasn’t been the exception, but the rule for me. First sex with someone new is never as good as learning what each other likes down the road.

    I have always found it wild when people expect mind-blowing sex right out of the gate.

15. I have had so much trouble the first (and sometimes second/third) times with a new person

    When a woman gives me another chance it usually goes better. And if she keeps giving me more chances it keeps getting better.

    But not everyone has that kind of patience 🙂

16. I have had a couple of really hot, my type physically, women that I went on dates with this year that I had to turn down for sex because there wasn’t chemistry. I could have went through with it, but I think I wouldn’t have liked it so much.

    One even said it might be easier if we just break the ice with a blow job and I was frozen, like, please don’t… She got the hint.

    Both were smart, pretty, successful, interesting, and… Somehow, my body was a no.