my girlfriend of 11 months hasn’t had a “bar experience” and she tells me she wants to go to a bar to get hit on. i told her that this feels disrespectful to me, and i asked if i wasn’t giving her enough love or attention. she says that i am, but she wants to experience being hit on at the bar. am i being fair in not being okay with that? and i haven’t forbade her from doing anything, i have just told her that i would be uncomfortable and feel disrespected.
tl;dr: not okay with her going to the bar for the sole reason of “to see if guys hit on me”. is this fair?
11 comments
So… she’s wanting to seek validation from people that aren’t you.
You could suggest forplay and pretend to be stranger and go to a bar and randomly hit on her so it feels real for her, and the added benefit is you take her home at the end of the night.
Its fine if she is single.
Absolutely disrespectful.
Tell her she can be single and have her fill of that bullshit without you.
Dude, that’s blatantly disrespectful as fuck. What a shallow person, needing validation from strangers is sad.
Very disrespectful and selfish. She wants to have her cake and eat it too by the sounds of it. She basically wants validation that she can attract attention from guys that are not you and at the same time wanting to do that while being in a relationship. You have every right to be uncomfortable with this.
Hell no, get out now
I would never do this nor have ever wanted to do this while in a relationship. Stick to the boundaries you’ve set, if it’s not ok then it’s not ok.
My boyfriend and I both enjoy being hit on and have both expressed that we’ve missed that during COVID. Neither of us would care if the other one wanted a little attention in that regard because we both know where the boundaries are. But it’s something you absolutely need to be on the same page about. If your partner’s not cool with it, it’s a hard no.
That is completely disrespectful to you. What other boundaries will she disrespect next?
11 months isn’t a long time, let her go do this as a single woman and go find yourself someone who won’t disrespect you.
These sort of people that crave validation and attention never work out in the long run nan. I’m imploring you to look hard at this situation. Really, for your own sake.