So i (28M) matched with this girl (26F) on Tinder. We had some cool things in common and talked for a while, but here is the thing.
Years ago i went out with a girl who posted pics and she seemed to be a normal weight person but turns out she showed up to out date and she was REALLY different from the pics. I had the date and later on she realized i was not into her.
Dont get me wrong, im not looking for someone skinny or anything, its just that this girl seemed a lot different in real life and i think it was disrespectful to lie and not be honest with someone who is going on a date with you. I was super kind to her but i was mad cause she pretended to be someone different on the internet.
So back to my recent match. This girl is overweight and she has only ONE full body pic on Tinder that she said is from the beginning of the year, but i have seen one pic of her in the same month and she does not look like the full body pic. Something is wrong here.
I dont care if she is chubby or anything, but the fact the she has zero posts on her instagram is kind of a red flag that she might be different than she acts to be on Tinder pics from above the waist and i dont want to have a embarrassing situation on dates again.
I mean im completely honest with girls about my weight, height, my balding. I dont want to waste anyone’s time.
She seems like a nice girl (a little short temper) but i wanna know how she really is so i know what to expect. I feel like i deserve honesty the same way im being honest.
Like i said, its hard to approach this matter with someone who has zero pics on social media.
I feel bad for having to worry about this but i dont know how to handle this situation.
Any help?
5 comments
in my opinion, you are either open, share your past experience with her. (meeting someone who was less than honest about herself) tell her how it made you feel and tell her how it makes you wary, being duped like that again… or you suck it up and take your chances meet this lady in person and see for yourself! who knows, you might be pleasantly surprised! never judge a book…..
I mean, just meet her in person for something quick and low commitment like coffee. You can’t make her post recent full body pics without sounding like an absolute ass but you can meet up if you both want and see if there are sparks in person.
People are so used to posting their most flattering photos on social media that even if they aren’t hiding any dramatic differences through posing or filters you’ve pretty much got to keep your expectations on hold until you are in front of one another.
Just meet her for coffee. If she makes excuses, and doesn’t show than yes things are amiss. But personally, I don’t put my pics up due to all creepy stuff that people can do with photos nowadays.
I understand- I had a similar experience with a guy. I think even if they look like their picture, that doesn’t mean it is going to be for you – I once dated a picture perfect guy and I didn’t feel it. That is what the first date is about, seeing what the connection is like IRL.
As it has been said photos are normally you at your best and if you’d person currently or generally doesn’t feel good about how they look – they won’t have many or full body ones.
Meet at a convenient time for you for something short and sweet. It is what first dates are all about.
That’s the risk with dating online. Even very recent pictures without filters used on them can differ from how someone looks in real life. Get it over with and just meet up – preferably for a rather short date like grabbing a coffee, so you can excuse yourself afterwards without seeming like an ass. If it goes well on the other hand, you can always ask to do something afterwards or agree to meet up soon again.