So i’m 16(m), i’ve been single my whole life. I’ve never had a gf, i’ve never even made it to the talking stage. Even though i look decent i guess (as alot of people tell me), i don’t like how i look or my whole appearance actually. So here is the thing I’m mentally ill, i’ve been diagnosed with OCD,BPD,ADHD & Severe anxiety which is sometimes physical anxiety. I always feel like a failure or a fucking dumbass whenever i see a couple my age at school or wherever i go. As I mentioned earlier due to my BPD i’ve cut all off my childhood friends recently. So i’m alone now trying to put effort to change my appearance to attract girls like my old friends used to do. Any advice?
4 comments
fam youre only 15, alot of life to live still. youll find a gf eventually
Not to put too fine a point on it, but at 15 everyone feels miserable and misunderstood.
Maturity is realizing that you control your happiness and you define who you are going to be, that the world or circumstance doesn’t get to determine who you are.
You’re 15, I’d expect the majority of 15 year olds have never been in a relationship so you aren’t unusual.
Also don’t believe everything that you hear people talking about what they have and haven’t done. People bullshit all the time about sex at that age.
Coming from someone with BPD (as well as OCD, ADHD, a panic disorder and GAD), know that romantic relationships are in no way a priority while you’re developing emotionally and physically. Everything you’re going through is a challenge, but BPD is an especially tough condition to manage, and hopefully you’re receiving some kind of therapy to help you out.
But yeah. Right now, you need to start working on your relationships with people as a whole. The sporadic and reactive effect BPD can have on your communication, friendships and perspective on connections needs to be managed before you pursue anything romantic or sexual. From my experience, it can be a very volatile environment when you are not completely able to regulate and monitor your behavioural symptoms (i.e. complete isolation, emotional despondency, obsession over an individual, emotional switches, etc.)
You’re still very young and you’ll find most people aren’t pulling until they’re in their latter teen years and 20s. Don’t interpret any goofy high school relationships as serious or worth comparison to, because they’re not and, in the longterm, going to be completely unmemorable. And that’s if half of the supposed relationships or hookups occurred at all. Boys love to bullshit about that stuff.
Good luck, kid. Work on getting your education and friends sorted out first.