Hey everybody
I have had an argument recently with my girlfriend about sexual protection. She has been on birth control pills of all sorts and nothing is working for her, because of the side effects she gets. The hormone spiral she also doesn’t want to try because of the hormones, and that’s fair for me. Her body, her choice.
I brought the copper spiral as an option in the argument, because it doesn’t contain any hormones, but she shot it down instantly, and got mad at me for suggesting it. I said I wouldn’t like it to use condom, because the sex is not the same and it’s fairly more expensive.
Has anyone stood in the same situation, what did you end up doing, and why?
Also, do you think it’s selfish of me to not want to use condom?
5 comments
You say, her body, her choice but then go onto to argue about the spiral so quite clearly contradicting what you say.
And yes, it is very selfish of to not want to use condoms. You can get thin ones if needed. Or get a vasectomy if you dont want kids…
Birth control is not just a females responsibility!!
Hmm, I think she was offended by what you said, even if you said it in good faith. I think what you should do is apologize to her, and to rethink the whole thing. Maybe try working together and research all the various ways of protection, listing all the possible options with the pros and cons and then deciding which one is the best? That could be the case. And yes, if you want protection, use a condom.
Use a condom. Birth control is on both partners, she’s been trying a bunch of stuff but you don’t want to use a condom because it won’t feel as nice? Also why is penetrative sex the default?
Yeah, I think you’re being selfish. But if it’s your dealbreaker then walk, nothing unethical about it.
What’s unethical is watch your partner try lots of different birth control options while you’re unwilling to use one. Get a vasectomy if you’re fluid bonded. Unless you’d be willing to put a copper object inside of you in solidarity, I don’t know where you have a leg to stand on.
If she doesn’t want the birth control, y’all can split the cost of condoms. They don’t have the negative health effects like other forms of contraception do.
Any other contraceptive option is still far more likely to cause complications, especially if she’s sensitive as it sounds from your description. The best option for you two, if you care about her, is to use condoms.
Plain and simple.
Find ways that’ll make you enjoy it beside the penetration + ultra slim condoms + you’ll get used to it. And also if you’re old enough to regularly do it, you might as well be financially capable to buy this kind of things.
Also another idea is a vasectomy, but I guess you won’t consider that.
This is purely from a woman’s perspective, searching for new ways for her to take contraceptives but not for YOU, will make her feel like you don’t give a crap about her.