Any social hacks/tips?

3 comments

1. I think the best thing is to NOT focus on what to say next. Instead, focus on what is being said to you. Ask questions. Why do they think the way they do? What led them to that conclusion?

   If something related comes up in your mind, share it at the appropriate time. But otherwise, really listen to what’s being said to you. In my experience, few people do and it makes quite a difference. People can sense that they’re being listened to and, often, will give you back the same.

2. Random body language tips off the top of my head:

   – Pay attention to how the person is oriented to you. Feet facing away often means they want to leave the conversation. Toward you means they’re not thinking about leaving. Eye contact is similar. Looking at you a lot often means they’re tuned into what you’re saying. Eyes wandering, often looking away, usually means they’re unengaged.

   – Nod. Say yes. Try to build off what someone’s saying and it will often encourage them to say more.

   – If you ask a question and they don’t give much of an answer, try waiting silently rather than responding. This will often cue the other person to say more. It’s not always gonna work but sometimes it does.

   – Context matters. An edgy joke in front of people you don’t really know or people who are uptight is gonna go over like a wet fart. When you’re with people you’re close to, people who feel safe to push the line a bit, it may be the funniest thing ever.

3. Hobby groups are often a good place to build friendships. A common mutual interest is a strong tie between people and it’s something you can revisit when you run out of things to talk about. Also, good friendships take hours and hours of time together.