We’ve been in a ldr for 5 yrs and I’m a (22f). I’ve had no doubts or trust issues but he was streaming his phone’s screen while we were on discord and went to clear his notifications. He cleared them so fast that I wasn’t even sure if I actually saw what I thought. (a tinder notification)
It rubbed me the wrong way and I thought he was being secretive or sneaky about something. He does have this bad habit of not telling me certain things. so like a weirdo I made a page and found his in 10 minutes. He lives in a super small town so it was easy but the results didn’t seem that bad. He moved away to a small town from his friends so I’m assuming he’s looking for people to hang with. It just feels weird since I associate that app as an dating app. It could be as seemingly innocent as it looks but I made an acc and got 60 likes in a sec and multiple dms. That spooked me and I really want to see his message history but I probably wont.
Honestly I think I’m still running off the adrenaline of seeing the tinder notification because the bio seems super innocent but I’d like to hear others opinion
TLDR: Found my bf’s active tinder page and unsure if he’s “talking” to girls or making friends.
His bio:
Just exploring tinder I’ve never used
anything like this. Trying to meet and chat with some new people.
13 comments
Red flag. Even if he was using this dating app for friendship, he should have given you a heads up. He clearly tried to hide it, and for a reason
He should’ve told you he was gonna use Tinder for finding friends, weird that he didn’t. Does his bio say friends only?
Tinder is mainly a dating app but yeah I noticed that some people use it now to make new friends. Still, you should talk to him about it and hopefully he will be honest with you. Tinder is not one of those apps you should hide from your partner. Other people have posted about finding their partner’s Tinder account and it usually doesn’t end well. Even if it’s “emotional cheating.”Otherwise, you should be suspicious and decide what to do with your relationship, then. You can always take it to an extreme and demand to track him with an app or Apple AirTag, idk. 🤷🏻♂️
Definitely not an app for making friends save for ones with benefits. Confront him.
First, You’re a woman and women always get a lot more likes than men. So getting 60 likes quickly isn’t that strange.
Second, it does sound like he is trying to meet people and not date people. I can see a young man, early 20’s, thinking that if his gf finds out about a Tinder profile, she would assume he wants to date other people. Especially in a LDR. Which brings me to…
Third, a five year long distance relationship that started when you were 17? Personally, I don’t see that as dating. But I’m old fashioned that way. I think people in a relationship should be in the same place most of the time.
I mean… let’s be real yeah? the vast majority of adults doesn’t actively look for opposite sex friends..
Honestly sometimes people forget they still have it. Try swiping left with your fake profile and see if it matches (make sure the photo on the profile is someone he would swipe left on). If it matches in a day or two then you know that he is active.
Give it a couple weeks and if it did not match then just say hey my friend so and so was on tinder and saw your profile haha did you forget to delete it?
People don’t use Tinder just to make friends, that’s complete fucking bullshit.
There are plenty of ways to meet new people and make friends that don’t involve going behind your partner’s back and using a dating app typically used for hookups. I don’t buy for a single second that he’s on Tinder for any reason other than casual sex.
His bio sounds like a thin-veiled attempt to fuck around yet maintain enough plausible deniability to use the “just making friends” excuse if you catch him.
You’re only 22, is this relationship really worth the trouble? Just date local, there are plenty of loyal men you can date who won’t pull this sneaky shady bullshit
What you don’t want to hear. A LDR with someone you don’t even know is a fantasy. You have now wasted 5 years on a fantasy with a virtual partner who is busy trying to find hookups. You are selling yourself short. Start dating real people you can see IRL and do things with.
He’s either cheating on you or interested in cheating on you. Tinder isn’t just a dating app it’s one specifically known for hookups. Idk any man that’d be looking for friends on that.
If he’s not guilty, why would he be clearing the notifications so fast? I would check his history on Tinder to see nothing is shady there. Also, is he just looking for male friends or more like female friends in particular? If so, that’s a red flag because by doing so, he’s asking or welcoming for things to happen.
I still would never trust a guy who uses tinder to find friends.
For friends bumble would have been a better option but he has tinder