Long post warning, thank you for reading.
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tl; dr – She said she want to take things slow, but she agreed to meet 4 times over the course of about 10 days. Text is slowing down, should I ask her out again before she lose interests?
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Full story:
I (M28) met a girl (F24) on Hinge. After a few days of texting, we went on a few dates over a single week.
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First date (Saturday): Went to a park for a little picnic (I brought champagne and orange juice to make mimosas). We share lots of interests in music. I was expecting this to be a quick date but she proactively suggested we walk around nearby and ended up at a bar for hours. I asked how the date went and she said it was a 9/10. We made plans for another date at a concert the Monday after next (8 days away).
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Second date (following Friday): We kept texting for a few days after. I then told her I don’t want to wait so long to see her so she agreed to a second date on Friday. I got a reservation at a sold-out bar and she was super impressed! Then we got food and she uploaded a video of her reviewing our food on an ig account that she and her best friends shares (She is showing me to her friends?). Afterward, we walked to a viewpoint and I asked to hold her hands which she agreed. We then went to a bar and she mentioned that she likes to take things slow. I told her I like seeing her and happy to go at a pace we are comfortable with. Afterward, she drives me home and we shared a quick kiss. We both text each other after talking about how we feel butterflies.
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Third date (Sunday): I mentioned that I was going to a show on Sunday before. She randomly texted that she is free and might make an appearance. I was happy that she proactively wanted to meet again, but not sure what to feel since she mentioned she liked to take things slow. When she arrived, the show was sold out but I knew the bouncer and I got her in through the back. The concert was loud so we didn’t get to talk much. I held her hands again when walking back to her car, and we shared a kiss at the end that felt a little awkward.
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Fourth date (Monday): We started with an Ikea date where we got food at the food court and walked around the store. She picked a plant out for me to buy. We were playing with the Ikea bag and it was kinda funny so I asked to take a mirror pic of us with the bag. It felt kind of awkward because she didn’t seem super into it.
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Then we went to a backyard indie rock show and had a few drinks. We were both a little more relaxed and I got more touchy (held her hands, hand on her waist, etc.). We then spontaneously left to see fireworks at a hill on for fourth of July. She brought her guitar and she played me a song she was writing and we sang some silly rock songs. I was sitting close to her and touching her but she doesn’t really reciprocate (touch me back) though she doesn’t back away. I wanted to kiss her but she mentioned taking things slow and she doesn’t initiate any touching (though she is receptive when I touch her) so I wanted to respect her boundaries.
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Then we went to get quick late-night food and I mentioned that we saw each other 4 times in 10 days. I ask her if this is too much, specifically bringing up that she wanted to take things slow and I wanted to respect her boundaries. She said no, and asked me how I was feeling. I told her I like seeing her but probably did not say it as enthusiastically as I should have since we have been hanging out for 12 hours and we were both tired.
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On the car ride back, I asked if she had a good time. She said yes, and I clarified that I was asking because I am bad at reading body language and social cues so wanted to make sure we were both feeling the same. When I dropped her off, I felt tired and uncertain about how she felt so I didn’t go in for a goodbye kiss. But she actually initiated and I was not ready so this kiss was also a little awkward.
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Now the texting is a little bit slowed down and drier and I wonder if the way I ended the fourth date (asking her questions about her space and how she felt) made her feel uncomfortable and made me sound too simp or clingy.
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1. Should I ask her out on another date on Sunday or give her space because she likes to take things slow and I should give her space/not seem desperate?
2. She is receptive when I initiate touches, but she never initiates them herself and it makes me feel uncertain whether she likes me. Should I be direct and mention this to her?
3. Did I fuck up on that last date with my questions?