So for context my boyfriend (30) and I (f28) have been living together for over 5. We moved to Texas after living in Miami for the majority of our relationship. I haven’t being coping really well to the new state (to be frank I feel lonely and isolated) so my best friend (f29) has visited us twice since. We also have a dog with some anxiety so he decided to get a Furbo nanny (a camera that records and tells you when your dog is having issues like barking) and that thing records and saves everything. It’s like a normal recording camera with extra steps.

Anyways, first time she visited I disconnected the camera so she can have privacy since the camera points towards the sofa and she was sleeping there. And I felt I would feel uncomfortable sleeping while being recorded so I figured she most likely felt the same. I didn’t consulted my boyfriend since I thought it was common sense. He got pissed, we had a fight after she left and told me to NEVER disconnect the camera.

Now she’s visiting again and instead of disconnecting the camera I moved it so it won’t be pointing towards her. You can still check on sounds, and if the dog barks it will send a notification. Well, he went to check on the camera a moment ago and he noticed it moved. He got pissed, and went off about me not “consulting” him on moving the camera a few inches to the side.

I tried to explain that I told him previously I didn’t felt comfortable with a camera pointing to our guests while they sleep, I told him about it being weird. But he still is pissed. None of my reasoning for moving the camera makes sense for him. He went back and moved the camera back.

I just don’t know what else so say to make him understand that being recorded while sleeping is pretty weird and uncomfortable. So I need some advice on how to approach this. Also, we both work from home and barely go out. I work from the living room. The camera records what I do 24/7. There’s no real need for the camera.

45 comments

  1. Your bf is a creep and you’re in the right.

    Are you sure there aren’t other cameras in the place?

  2. Oh he’s definitely hiding something.

    Seriously he records YOU 24:7 why would you think he would do the same to her.

    Ma’am, might be time to go back home.

  3. Are you sure the camera is really about recording the dog? From what you said it basically watches you all day everyday and he’s insistent on it watching your friend. All while insisting it is needed to tell if your dog is barking when you both are home all the time. Does any of this make sense to you? because it shouldn’t. There’s something else going on here with your boyfriend that should be throwing red flags.

  6. If it were me I’d move the couch just to be petty. Then I’d tell my friend in front of my boyfriend “you see this device here? It’s a camera that records 24/7. My boyfriend won’t allow me to turn it off or move it so it’s not filming you while you sleep.”

  7. Your bf is a creep and if I knew I was being taped while I sleep I would never visit again

  8. Can you go back home? Based on reading your comments your boyfriend sounds like a controlling asshole.

  9. He doesn’t discuss things with you reasonably, he yells at you about them. That’s not a good relationship.

  10. HUGE RED FLAG, OP.

    He moves you away from home and friends and is watching you all the time? Put your foot down and toss the camera. He doesn’t need to “make sense” of your reasoning. He’s stomping boundaries.

    And TELL YOUR FRIEND ABOUT THE CAMERA. NOW.

  11. It looks like you should pack and go home with your friend. She can, probably, help to pack your stuff. He acts like he owns you, like your decision doesn’t matter at all. And yes, it’s super creepy.

  12. reading the comments and a little worried for your safety, please get someone to come help you pack if you leave and do not do it alone on camera

  13. BF is creepy AF for insisting on recording your friend. Why is he telling you not to touch it and moving it back, it’s your place too right? That would be a hard limit for me. That camera would be gone or I would be.

  14. He didn’t even try to say why he was mad or have a logical discussion?

    He’s definitely being a creep. The camera isn’t for the dog…

  15. Please this is very unhealthy and illegal. You should really take care of yourself, seek for support and let your friend know about this. I wish you good luck.

  16. Set up a camera to watch him and then get pissed when he doesn’t like it.

  17. Yeah….

    He didn’t get a camera for the dog. I’m sorry to tell you, but if you did some thorough cleaning, you’d find at least one more somewhere.

    He’s a creep. You can’t fix a creep or change how he thinks.

  18. Weirddddd! I have that same camera and it’s motion activated, it has NIGHT VISION, and you can also access in real time to view and hear what’s going on. You can also save videos very easily! There is absolutely ZERO reason why this needs to be pointed anywhere near where she is sleeping. Full, hard stop. Super effing creepy! That would be my hill to die on for real.

  19. gurl. you are in an abusive relationship.

    moved away from friends and fam.

    records you 24/7 and SCOLDS YOU

    KNOWS HOW TO FIGHT YOU BECAUSE ENGLISH IS YOUR SECOND LANGUAGE.

    there are BETTER partners out there. HOLY. SHIT. GIRL. PLEASE.

  20. This camera kink of your boyfriend is intrusive and i feel there’s something sexual about it. Tell him they’ll be no camming of the couch, tell him tactfully and firmly no. He either needs to explain the reasonings for camera, since obviously the dogs not sleeping there with your friend, or just get the hell out of your house that’s what I do

  21. Wait til he leaves, unplug the camera, pack essentials, grab the dog and leave with your friend back to Miami. You are not safe

  24. Go home with your friend.

    This fight was a blessing in disguise!

    Now you know he’s got control issues. Your friend can confirm it when he tries to twist the situation and make you feel crazy.

  28. You and your girlfriend need to get out of there. His behavior is bizarre.

  31. Tell him he can sleep on the coach with the camera and your friend can sleep in the bedroom with you.

  33. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

    There are so many red flags with this situation and his behavior overall. It sounds like you have no say in this relationship and he is very controlling. Especially using English as your second language to not give you space to speak. The camera thing is so creepy and there has to be more to it for that kind of reaction… I really think you need to evaluate your situation and relationship because behavior like this almost always escalates. Stay safe OP ❤️

  34. It sounds like your boyfriend is very controlling of not only you, but all aspects of the life you share together. There is no reason he needs to watch you on the camera 24/7 or for your guest to be watched. What other explanation does he have other than “because I want the camera there”?

    There’s really no argument that he can make for it to make sense. Is he controlling in other aspects of your life? What about finances? Does he make the big decisions? For your safety, I would reconsider the relationship you’re in.

  35. This is all red flags. He is using the dog as an excuse. Take advantage of your friend visiting and leave with her. He is definitely controlling you, leave as soon as you can.

  36. If you do intend to leave, make sure to change all your passwords for all your stuff. He doesn’t need to have access to that regardless.

  37. This doesn’t have much to do with your post but you should consider bumble bff. It was a life changer when I moved, I’ve moved twice before and regretted not doing it sooner.

  38. Mmm lemme see. Moving states, being/feeling isolated from friends and fam who could be there if things go wrong, recording you 24/7 with absolutely no valid reason, trying to reduce the time you spend outside, incredibly angry reaction to a confrontation about his actions. My friend, this is all abuse. Please reconsider your relationship and procure your safety at all times.

  40. Aaa guys. How can you go back home because the dog is barking? Like it is a dog. Isn’t it supposed to bark? Please leave this man. And if you can take the dog too, go with it.

  41. I believe you could be in danger. This situation is disturbing. You need a plan and you need to get away from him as soon as you can. His temper and Co trolling nature are huge red flags. I would say, when your friend leaves, go with her. I would do it quietly and without his knowledge. If he explodes over you moving his silly camera, no telling how he’ll act if you leave him. Just be careful and smart There are surely women’s shelters in TX. Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline for advice on your situation 1-800-799-7233. Is it possible for him to see your Reddit posts? Take care.

  42. Please take it from someone who has had this happen before. It escalates. Always. It gets physical. You will get hurt repeatedly. You will be almost killed multiple times before it dawn’s on you that his “love” is not actually love. He doesn’t know how to love. Please get out before then. Please get out before it’s too late.

  43. Have you considered having him sleep on the couch while your friend is over and they can sleep with you in the bedroom? It’s being recorded while sleeping isn’t a big deal I’m sure he won’t mind it.

  44. Is this the same boyfriend who wouldn’t allow you to clean your apartment unless you asked his permission first?

    For the love of God, LEAVE NOW.

  45. This is one of those posts where I’m perplexed that you don’t know how to handle this. For starters TELL YOUR DAMN FRIEND. She had a right to know.

    Stop trying to justify and explain this. Camera can’t point at the fucking couch when you have a guest over and if your boyfriend wants to be a creep, you tell your friend.

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