How to identify the line between strong family ties and codependency?

6 comments

1. Could you survive on your own without help from your family? Like if you got offered a job in another country could you up and move without your well being becoming jeopardized?

2. My parents inform my decision-making but do not decide my life for me.

3. >how can you identify the difference / line between strong family ties and codependency.

   I personally have strong family ties (also due to my cultural upbringing). I’m an adult woman and make my own decisions. I value the advice and input from my parents, but I seek it. They also value and seek my opinions on matters and I’m even entrusted within their legal affairs.

   IMO being “codependent” is needing them for everything to properly function in my life. I want their support, but I don’t rely it

4. I had to really think about this because community is my top value. Taking care of and being taken care of, having a responsibility to other’s, being known and loved—that’s the *goal*. That’s *necessary* for me.

   I rely on them, and they rely on me. I had codependency problems because I tilted too far and started only living for others, but I believe I solved that by learning more about myself.

   I found that I love baking in itself, not just to share (but that sharing is one of the best parts of baking). I found that I like to learn languages as long as I’m doing it independently. I’ve found that I love novels that explore different kinds of love.

   The difference for me was in making sure that I could be happy by myself for short amounts of time. I don’t rely on others for my general happiness. I don’t need to talk to my family or my partner every day—if I wanted to take a solo mini vacation, I could. I prefer not to, but I don’t let opportunities pass me by if no one is available.

5. I have strong family ties and to me answer is simple: are you allowed to be yourself and seek your own goals, even if those are not something your family originally would have wanted for you? Strong family bonds support each other on their journeys, instead of controlling. Are you allowed to be both independent, but also given love&support and give those back yourself?

6. Because of my culture we have parents and grandparents living together with us. It is a multi generation family. I lead my own life, have my job, co tribute to household expenses etc. If I were to take a job abroad I would leave without any issues.