Nobody has the time for anybody it seems.

14 comments

1. It’s not you, the world has become less socially inclined in a real way and its hard to find people who want genuine friendship. I’m sorry you’re having a tough go, camping and art are where it’s at.

2. It sounds like you’re doing well to me, maybe your old acquaintances are the boring ones? I’m sorry your cool stuff isn’t being appreciated, you sound like an interesting person. And I think *being* interesting is more key than having good delivery. I hope you can finh some appreciative friends soon.

   Also, that’s an awesome handle lol

   Edit: I went and stalked your post history a bit, your welding work and cool rocks are awesome! I’m stumped; people should be jazzed to be your friend

3. As we grow in age our friends circle shorten up. So Focus on yourself is good way to go. Stat positive, do things which make u happy. Join or get involve in community work or any program related to the work you do. You will find people n you can be friend with.

4. that’s because everyone everywhere is preaching to kids “focus on yourself, go for these sky high goal so that maybe when you’re 60 you have a 1% of reaching the elite and having all the power and control over others. That’s the ultimate goal and anyone who settles for less is lazy trash”

   pretty much

   people are being told to not show interest in others and only seek validation from them by objectifying themselves. And everyone’s doing this, so no one is paying attention to everyone, but seeking attention from everyone.

   Break the cycle

   go talk to anyone you feel might be interesting

   if you have your own things in life, surely there are other people who are into those things too

   reach out to them and try to make friends

   trust me, showing genuine interest and treating people friendly can very often break this ice cold barrier

5. I feel this so hard.

   I constantly avoid hanging out with the one friend I have because i usually don’t have anything exciting to talk about and am scared of being perceived as boring.

6. You ask them questions?

7. This might not be the best advice but sometimes it seems like people want to hangout with attractive, fun people who have things to offer them. I would work one of those angles, either being fun (think music festivals, being especially funny, etc), getting hotter (eg hitting the gym), offering something (eg having a hot tub of being rly good at cooking), etc. Sometimes it’s none of these things and it just takes someone to introduce you to people. I’m honestly not the best for answering this question but it’s just stuff I’ve noticed.

8. I see the majority of your comments are centered around you. The best conversation topics are about “them”. Ask questions and be curious about other peoples world. Legit try to say nothing about you unless you’re in agreement with their comments. This will ease pressure in conversations while also allowing YOU to filter out people that you don’t find interesting OR DO NOT ASK YOU MANY QUESTIONS! Oddly, human love to talk about themselves. If they aren’t interested in you after you clearly exhibit curiosity and interest put them in the 50/50 bucket and be careful about how much you continue invest in your relationship.

9. It’s really not you. I am 22F and find myself clinging onto friendships from high school/middle school that no longer benefit me (legitimate borderline toxic friendships) because I have so much trouble meeting new people and forming new, meaningful connections. I do a lot too, I go to the gym and go out in public regularly and have no problem striking up conversations with a stranger. It’s just so easy (for myself included) to stop putting in effort and ghost at a moment’s notice. And friendships are legitimate effort.

10. I recommend offering a book buddy interaction with somebody (or 3 somebodies). Basically, once they accept it, take turns choosing a book to read over the month or so then get together to chat about it and how it applies each of your individual lives, what you are working on etc. The conversation topics will come from the book and will be changing and versatile. People generally want this because like you mentioned the “focus on your goals” mentality and many people have reading more books that will make a difference for them as 1 of their goals. To have somebody with accountability in doing so they will see as fitting in with their own personal needs and then you guys gradually get the socializing aspect also.

11. Ask questions that lead to other questions that lead to a conversation. Ppl usually like to talk about themselves. Plus the questions give you both an opportunity to see if you have anything in common.

12. I feel this. Its hard to find friends unless you’re in a community of some kind that forces you to he social, whether that’s church, work, volunteering, etc. I don’t do many social activities and the friends I do have are usually from work.

13. Maybe people don’t want to do, what you want to do. Nothing wrong with that. As you do t want to do what they want to do. Hence why you’re dropping suggestions on things to do. So why not just go by yourself? Or are you looking for emotional support? You should checkout meetups app. You could always find a group interested in your interest.

14. Hmm just a suggestion but I have women friends like you and they usually appreciate the company of men more, in fact they actually actively dislike having too many women around the table and seek to avoid those situations.

    There’s no written rule that you have to have women friends just because you’re a woman.