I am nearly 30 years old, and it makes me sad every day when I realize that all I really have is my mom, my boyfriend, and mostly online friends. I desperately crave relationships with other people, it doesn’t have to be a lot, but I want a community. I was recently diagnosed with a chronic disease and am going through autoimmune testing now as well. Selfishly, it’s times like this where you hope for more of a support system. My boyfriend is overburdened caring for me, it would be nice to have more support while I’m going through this and to relieve him of some of that caregiving burden.
We are isolated. We’re both introverts too so it doesn’t help. He still has friends from his childhood, but they’re all spread out across the country. I don’t keep in touch with childhood friends, I let them go. I’m so lonely and I genuinely don’t understand how to make friends and keep them. It makes me sad that if my boyfriend and I ever get married, I wouldn’t know who to name as my bridesmaids. I see other people my age have so many friends and I just don’t get it. And the thing is I don’t want just surface-level friendships. If you’ve ever seen or read Anne of Green Gables, I want what Anne refers to as kindred spirits or bosom friends, basically deeper bonds with others.
I’m also very sensitive so that can be a hindrance in relationships with others. Can anyone part some advice to a lonely, sensitive, and introverted soul?
3 comments
I think there might be something about our times that makes this either more common or more seen.
I can fully relate, except I don’t even have an SO.
I’ve gotten pretty sick of trying so now i do things that i know I’ll enjoy for myself but that tend to involve settings where people are present, that way if i meet someone, great, if not, great!
I’ve also started to really appreciate friendship and love where i can take it, having a really hard time finding it has made me treasure it a lot more and be more open minded and for that I’m really grateful!
I also want community but one day i realized that I actually don’t really like many people for damn good reasons and I myself am pretty hard to love….for damn good reasons so, after that I’ve been kinda settling into a more peaceful existence, believe it or not 😉
This is Reddit, where all of us lonely folks hang out. Best way to build connections is through exposure from common interests like a club or activity. Since you’re an introvert, you probably don’t have the capacity to put yourself in social situations if you don’t need to do by being forced into social interactions, you can build connections with people and also share common interest(s).
I could’ve written this. I feel the same exact way. It’s like every close friend I’ve ever had, has had an actual best friend already or drifted toward other friendships. I would hurt my own feelings being left out, hoping to be included. I’ve tried being friendlier, less judgmental, same result.
I wish I had an answer for you. Just wanted to share you’re not the only one.