As I get older I’m finding myself with less and less patience for other people. I’m more easily annoyed, I get angry with people faster and I prefer doing my own thing to any kind of group activity.
Is this just the norm as you age?
I was never the most social person, but now in my mid 30’s I’m finding that even light amounts of socialization or talking to another person make me unhappy.
Even just commenting on reddit ends up lowering my mood from interacting with people.
38 comments
I’m similar. My tolerance for people and their bullshit has gotten lower over the years. I find being single after divorce much better then being married as well. I do what I want when I want and don’t have to negotiate, explain, or deal with anyone else’s drama or worry about their happiness. I’ve got my dog and we have a lot of fun together and I don’t feel lonely one bit.
I have a love-hate relationship with it I love the Solitude hate the loneliness
There’s a LOT of assholes out there so I get ya. However once in a while striking up a conversation is fun. Also Reddit for the most part is kids and trolls. If you made a post about the shade of blue the sky is there would be 50 comments calling you an idiot, that’s cerulean, the sky isn’t really blue, etc etc. dude you need a hobby, get a bike, a kayak, play d&d, go out for dinner. Try warhammer ANYTHING just enjoy yer life
I’ve always been semi-introverted. I enjoy socializing, but only for a couple hours, then I’m out. The larger the group…the shorter the time I can tolerate it.
I am the proud master of the “Irish Exit”
It’s give and take. Forced socialization sucks, and to much isolation is depressing.
Oh I’m quite happy in my own company, my partner however can’t seem to understand how I can go hours and not say anything.
38f yes
I have found so. Like Charles Bukowski said when asked if he hated people: “I don’t hate them. I just feel better when they’re not around.”
Only all the time
I wouldn’t doubt this is somewhat normal. I disagree depending on the circumstances. I find I’m more annoyed to go to all of my wife’s family functions (it’s almost once a month). But, I look forward to parties/get-togethers with our friends which are also about once a month. I think it’s all about the company and people you surround yourself with. If all of your friends are irritating assholes then ya, I can see why you would feel that way, and maybe time to start rethinking those friendships. If you’re just turning into a “get off my lawn” type of old man, well, stop the farce and just stop going to stuff and save yourself the stress of putting on a face.
Personally, I’m happier socializing. It’s the one thing I miss about work (recently retired). I’ve actually become more tolerant of other people’s idiosyncrasies as I’ve gotten older.
normal. but really depends on the people though.
I seem to be happier the less I socialize
socializing with people I don’t like/don’t know? yes.
socializing with friends? no.
As you get older it gets harder and harder to have quality relationships.
That being said, I’m 40 and have a wide friend group who I admire and can be honest with. I think one of the hardest things is keeping your emotions in check to try to be social while real social connections comes from people you can be honest with.
I think a lot of people just try to exchange pleasantries or end up with friends you no longer connect with or friendships of convenience.
Try giving yourself more space to talk and express yourself and I think you’d be surprised.
Reddit is horrible for my mental health. I stopped for a few weeks, maybe about a month, and it was like reclaiming a piece of my soul.
I should stop again. Maybe in another 5 minutes …
It’s hard to say. I’m pretty introverted, but part of me wouldn’t mind having some kind of a social circle to hang with whenever the mood strikes. I haven’t had anything like that in a very long time.
Yes, we’re called introverts
Is … is this your first encounter with this feeling? Jesus, dude, I’ve been this way at least since I was 8.
Generally I don’t care to hear other people yak at work. I do not care what you did over the weekend, where you went, or what you’re having for lunch. I can endure a very small amount of cross-talk.
What bugs me is not that people will talk or socialize, it’s they are doing it with OUTSIDE VOICES that disrupt my work.
I find it easier to socialize as a 40-something because I don’t have so much at stake anymore. I’m not trying to impress anyone or get laid or land a better job. It’s still exhausting to be around so many people, but having many fewer fucks to give really helps to just relax, and enjoy the company for what it is until I’ve had enough and simply peace out.
Yes
My circle has drawn so small its no longer a circle but 2-3 people.
Last night around 7pm I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought “wow I look great right now.” Outfit was on point, I was hungry, felt like being social and going to visit a friend who works at a bar. Walked outside to check the temp, walked to my car, looked at the street, felt the pain in my ankle that I been having for a few weeks, imagined all the walking I would be doing, thought about how expensive a meal would be at a bar or restaurant, thought about how literally nobody I know is out on a Saturday unless they are working. Turned my ass around and went inside and put on sweat pants and ordered a pizza. Listened to podcasts and did laundry. Slept like a baby. I’d say I was pretty happy about the whole scenario.
Introvert. Person who enjoys little to no company.
I get my socialization from work. I’m a line cook. I wake up. Hang out at home, go to work, come home. Game. And once a week have lunch with my dad.
Everybody’s busy with their lives. Plus I have discord where I can VC with like minded gamers if I want.
People don’t make me unhappy, but life’s responsibilities do make me crave alone time.
100%. Happiest when it’s just me, the cat and the dog. Too many dickheads out there.
I did feel this way in my 30’s. Now in my 40’s I find myself in a new city and I don’t know a single person other than my wife and kids. Starting to feel lonely but my socialization skills are shit now.
I’ve never been an overly social person. I hate trying to make small talk, so going to parties where I don’t know anyone particularly well is no fun for me. I have several hobbies that are pretty solitary, and I’m perfectly happy being in my own company. That being said, my wife is awesome and is my best friend. We get along great and always enjoy just hanging out together, regardless of what we’re doing, so I just hang out with her all the time, and it’s totally fine with me.
Well, for starters, REDDIT is toxic. Here, you see the extremes; uninhibited, rude and inconsiderate comments rule the sort. Do you feel the same, with in-person encounters?
Having said that, as I aged I spent some years living alone. I found, after I became married, I actually liked alone time more than I realized. Previously, I was more social though always independent. It’s normal behavior, I think, to become more critical of whom we devote our energy to. Selecting the right people (not random) may help you. Additionally, I find myself wondering if there isn’t other underlying issues in your life contributing to your outlook. Perhaps some honest self reflection is in order?
I am. It’s the best thing ever. I have less time for nonsense, have discovered how much I love my space and how little I want to share it. Then again, I wouldn’t mind sharing it with a partner, and obviously, one who appreciates that I like my space. Kids too. But the “rolling with my boys thing”, I am way over that. Let’s have lunch, shake hands and be off. No, I don’t want to attend random kids birthday parties, or go out to watch the game in a noisy space with drunkards when I don’t even drink anymore….
I’ve got friends that I really love but not many. I really look forward to seeing them, but I find I’m absolutely drained and a bit glum afterwards. I’ve come to realise I’m incredibly introverted. Since I embraced it I’m happier. I don’t have 100s of friends, and maybe see one or two once every few months.
My wife is also quite introverted, and we’re both similar in that way. She’s the only person I can spend time with who doesn’t drain the life out of me.
I agree! My cats talk more sense! And if you ever in the pub you hear so much drivel.
Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy. – Jim Carrey
I’ve found as I’ve gotten older that my patience for people has grown thinner. At the same time though I’m also much better at recognizing now when someone I’m speaking with is someone who’s opinions I value, so I find it easier to leave conversations that aren’t doing anything for me.
I’d say whereas I used to be eager to socialize with most people, now I’m much more selective and only eager to socialize when I meet someone I really vibe with or can make grand plans with.
I have found I miss the BS/offhand surface-y relationships I had when I went in to work on a regular basis. Not so much friendships as impressions of people. I don’t need to drink from the well, but I do like to wet my lips. To see and be seen, as it were.
Yes and no.
I enjoy and prefer solitude (when I can get it) and find other people very tiresome, but I know from experience that I don’t thrive in isolation. And I recognize that reading and posting mundane white noise shit on Reddit/social media is also a way to socialize in a very low stakes kind of way.
What I haven’t experienced in a long time is the late teens early 20s excitement of meeting new people and learning they’re cool or do interesting things or have stories to tell.
I’m happy just minding my own business. Sometimes I feel like socialising, the rest of the time, I’m doing my own things on my own schedule.
This is an internal problem.
Most people delight in being with people they like.