I (19M) have been trying to go out of my comfort zone and make new friends at college since I have none. A lot of the guys I talk to in my classes seem to be dry or give short responses when I ask them questions and there’s no reciprocation.
Other times I’ve had convos with girls who genuinely seem interested in talking and ask questions back. it flows like an actual convo unlike some guys I talk to just seem to sit there after we talk for like a minute and we’re just basically in acquaintance stage for the whole semester. I don’t wanna push it too much then it’ll seem like I’m desperate for them so idk what to really do
I know there’s nothing really wrong with having all female friends but I find it much harder to make connections with guys. any advice?
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It sounds like your communication style fits better with women’s communication styles than men’s. Maybe that’s why when you talk with guys in your classes, there’s a bit of a disconnect.
2 things I can think of
1. maybe, like me, your personality is a bit more feminine than average, so you just kind of relate to girls conversationally
and 2. (this is based on my experience with US culture, so it may not be so elsewhere, but) guys have a lot more stigma about talking seriously or genuinely. It’s often straight up frowned upon to have a serious conversation as a young guy. So they avoid it, and may be curt to you if you come across as genuine.
They might have opened up if you had used a less-serious register. Some humor maybe, or talking about sports, or making disrespectful sexual comments about your female peers, or saying “bro” a lot and making excited noises and grunts. This a bit dramatized but you probably know what I mean, and it comes in various degrees, so long as none of them involves any honest vulnerability.
I have no idea. I feel like it’s generally so much easier for guys to make friends with both girls and other guys. Guys are usually more easy going when it comes to meeting/hanging with new ppl.
I have literally the reverse situation but I think it’s because maybe the guys just want to f@ck me and maybe I’m a boring person so the girls don’t wanna know me. Ugh. At least that’s what my boyfriend says (first bit).
Idk but the friend part none yt but for me girls r very nice and smile or giggle whenever I’m near
Because you’re probably feminine: quiet, soft spoken yet chatty, good listener.