Noticed these days when you talk to people conversations pretty much hey how’s it going? How’s work? How’s school with Johnny? Become a lot more shallow.
Like you can tell people don’t talk much about things as they used to when they were younger?
I guess this is what happens when they got too much personal business to worry about? Being a higher position in a company means most of your energy is spent worrying about the team. And if it isn’t its probably worrying about their family.
Maybe I haven’t gotten enough responsibility yet to a point where I really don’t feel like talking to anyone outside my main priorities. Thats why Im not getting it.
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I’m 43 mostly introverted and I want to talk to people and build solid relationships but it’s difficult because I’m in management, own a business and working on buying some rental properties. I’m just busy and I hate the small talk chit chat about nothing. If I am going to converse with you there needs to be some substance. Like I want to be learning, teaching, helping or I’m better off at home with my family.
A lot of people aren’t in positions they want to be in. Or thought they would be in. Their lives break them down. And after a while that sorta stuff can make connecting hard. You get jaded and upset. It becomes hard to be pleasant, then it becomes harder to fake it. Then you just realize. If I don’t put in any effort and just act like I’m too busy. No one will care to try any harder. Then that makes it easier to get through the day because you don’t have to fake it.
That. Or people just wanna get through work cuz their home life and social lives are separate from work. Work is work. It’s not a place for friends.
Usually. One of those two contribute to people acting the way you described in my experience at least.
The older folks by the bus stops I take never stop talking.
Everyone likes to talk about their own business, issues, challenges, successes, intellect, etc….
….but older folk are just tired of listening to the same old crap from everyone, especially companies, wealthy folk, and politicians who keep repeating the same lies, so they don’t respond to prompts to talk
Every answer here makes sense to me, but I’d like to add that it’s simply easier to find *shallow* common ground as you get older, as opposed to having the opportunity to develop or maintain deeper or more profound relationships. Like, when you’re younger, you spend a lot more of your time with your friends, so the circles that represent your lives have a lot more overlap, leaving much to talk about and more time to talk.
As people get into their own lives, have families, establish and maintain long-term careers, etc., those circles (that used to overlap so much) begin to recede. So with less free time and having less day-to-day living stuff in common, there is naturally less opportunity for good, meaningful conversation.
Then, to make things worse, some of us get so out of practice that we even get bad at smalltalk, so we just stay quiet unless spoken to. That’s what it’s like for me anyway.
When it comes to regular everyday smalltalk I couldn’t give 2 shits about going deep into that anymore. Literally don’t care that you mowed your lawn, got the oil changed on your truck, or that your kid accomplished some normal achievement.
But get me near somebody who shares an interest or hobby, and I won’t stop talking. Building a stroker for your hotrod? Let’s hear about it! Just got an RTX 3090 and you’re starting to game at 4k, let’s go! Bought an Ender 3?? I won’t stop talking to you!
I think as I age, I resonate more with this famous quote:
> Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about other people.
Not saying I’m great by any means, but it aligns with me only giving a shit about talking about ideas with people instead of things or other people.