how to convince life partner to not ask your salary?

14 comments

1. You shouldn’t?

   Is there a reason you’re hiding how much you make? Any partnership that isn’t fully disclosing each other’s income doesn’t sound healthy imo.

2. Don’t.

3. I mean my husband knows my salary and I know his. We are a partnership, cooperative and society of 2, that’s how we plan for things and life.

4. That’s a pretty basic fact to share with your life partner. So I’d start with an extremely good reason, which I can’t imagine what that could be.

5. I keep sticking on the word “convince.” I’d just ask them to respect my boundaries, I guess. That said, it seems like vital information to share with a life partner. I’m unsure why a life partner wouldn’t tell me that?

6. You should share that info if you’re life partners – it will impact all sorts of future decisions. Why don’t you want to share?

7. Any particular reason you don’t want them knowing?

   If it’s because they have a lot of bad spending habits and don’t want to become involved in that, ask yourself if you really want to have a partner with those habits?

   Are you living together?

8. If they’re my **life partner** that implies we’ve made some serious commitments around living together. An important part of that is shared finances, or at least shared financial goals, so it seems completely reasonable that we should both know how much the other earns.

   I feel like there’s some context missing from this question.

9. that would make me run, tbh. how am i supposed to trust someone to spend my life with, if they won’t even trust me with finances?

10. I’m strictly anti-shared-bank-account, but I can’t imagine why I’d want to conceal my salary?

11. They aren’t your partner if you’re trying to hide stuff from them

12. Why would this be information you’re not wanting them to know?

    If it’s questioning them being genuine or not / judging then you shouldn’t be with them in the first place.

13. Everyone’s situation is different. I already have my own house, cars, pets, and lifestyle. I don’t intend to ever disclose my situation because everything is under my name and I don’t intend to get other people involved in my financial endeavors. They probably shouldn’t care unless you both intend to get assets together.

14. i mean, my husband and i know each other’s salaries so we know how to split important payments and do tax stuff etc. if you live together, it’s kind of a vital piece of information they need to know. if you don’t then simply say you’re not comfortable disclosing that information. but i personally can’t imagine really living a life with a life partner and not working together financially, amongst other things. but that’s just me though. i digress. you do you and what’s best for you.