I’m socially awkward and don’t like the sound of my voice. These are the only reasons I don’t like talking.
How should I deal with someone who says I don’t talk because they think that I think I’m better than them? Even after explaining your reasons they still say some variant of this shit.
I have certain music and food preferences purely because I like the thing and no other reason. People say that I think I’m prestige or healthy for these preferences and they say shit like how I should do my shopping in Paris or I shouldn’t have these preferences because I didnt graduate from an elite university.
How do you deal with people who’s head is stuck too far up their asses and make baseless assumptions about your lifestyle choices even after you’ve explained?
3 comments
Simply don’t be in their company. They sound like they’ve got their own problems. You don’t need that crap in your life.
The most important thing you should learn is this: Do not waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have no interest in understanding you.
Humans have this thing called “confirmation bias.” When we believe something, we only like seeing evidence that supports that view. If someone is already convinced you are a certain way, there’s no point in trying to correct them. They will just ignore you and continue looking for “evidence” that they like. Sometimes people do change their mind for whatever reason, but that’s not really something you can control. So again, stop worrying about it. It’s a battle you cannot win.
Instead, hang out more with people who are open minded and actually want to understand you.
What I found helpful with a relative of mine is acknowledging they see me as an imposter all times. So in order to “convince” them I’m not I needed to be very vocal about my ideas in different occasions so they got used to them (this is important because if you don’t speak they’re going to see you as a blank slate to project the things they hate), and consistent so they didn’t start thinking tangentially about you.
And if you’re ever dealing with suspicious people who think the worst about you, I want to tell you my strategy made them restrain themselves from assuming what I meant to say, especially when they do it anyway and I reply in a non-condescending way with “I only think what I said, I don’t mean anything else” and repeat my ideas. Basically you’re far from becoming a person they trust but at least they see your attempt in being coherent and trustworthy.