Pretty much just as the title says…
So I’ve been hooking up with this guy, we both like each other but he’s moving out of the state for college in a month.
Well we were hooking up last night and he slipped up in the middle and told me he loved me, I figured it was just a heat of the moment thing, but then we got done and he told me it again then said that he “Didn’t know what he was saying”
We then had a really long talk about how things are gonna be once he goes to college, and how the dynamic of our relationship would change, and what would happen if one of us got into relationships, and how the college he’s going to is one that I’m applying to, and what it would be like if I went there too.
I’m just sad, he told me that college isn’t going to be a hookup / party fest for him, he’s going into a very demanding major and he plans to be involved around campus so he’s not gonna have time to worry about random hook ups and he then told me that he doesn’t think it would get much better than me anyways.
We hung out last night and he turned on my location just for him on snapchat just because he knows I don’t like driving in the city where he lives so he likes to have my location incase I get lost, he saw another guys name above him on my best friends list and he didn’t get mad but when I asked why he suddenly got quiet he told me he was jealous.
Him and I have been hooking up for months and in the beginning we tried to make a relationship work but there were just too many obstacles (he lives 45 minutes away as it is, he was very involved and didn’t have the time for a relationship, and he was leaving the state for college, to name a few)
And when he leaves he doesn’t want to try long distance because he doesn’t want to risk the friendship we have being ruined, and I agree, long distance relationships rarely ever work, especially with the amount of stuff I know he’s bound to put on his plate at his new school and with me going into my senior year it’s going to be impossible. I’d rather preserve our friendship than fail at a relationship.
He is just genuinely the best guy I’ve ever known, he takes me on dates, he races me to my car so he can open the door for me, he never fails to make me feel better, the first time we ever hung out was because I was having a mental breakdown and he drove 45 minutes to comfort me, I am dyslexic and was having trouble reading a couple questions on the Math practice SAT he was tutoring me for and I was sobbing because I felt stupid he spent the next 2 hours calming me down and reading the questions to me and helping me solve them, He tells me everyday that I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever known, and when we hook up it is always on my term, he never ever pressures me, we do all kinds of crazy stuff together and it is the healthiest and most fun “Relationship” I’ve ever been in.
And I know that I’m young, and probably naive, So I just need advice on what to do, do I keep just doing what I’m doing? Should I stop hooking up with him? Is he using me? I’ve never been in a situation like this and I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR- I’m hooking up with the perfect guy but we can’t date because he moves in a month and neither of us want to risk long distance, what should I do?
5 comments
I mean, one month isn’t that long.
Tell him you’re in love with him. Maybe you can do something long distance?
I can already see him being your “One That Got Away”.
Life is too short to get your hopes up on guys who maybe sorta kinda like you, guys who show 1 ounce of interest in a relationship with you per fiscal quarter (probably just to get in your pants,) and the worst, guys who ‘don’t like labels.’ If he wanted to, he would. *If he wanted to, he would.*
He’s made it pretty clear he isn’t interested in a relationship, respect that and move on. You’re signing yourself up for hurt feelings if you continue to hook up with him. Sounds like he’s trying to let you down easy tbh.
You seem to understand there’s no long term prospects here. So, to answer if you should continue just hooking up for another month. I mean, a month isn’t that long. Just be safe and use protection. And continue reminding yourself that it will end soon.
Not every relationship is meant to last. Enjoy it while he’s nearby, and then put it aside and enjoy your senior year and the college application process. This young man is teaching you a lot about what makes a relationship good (compliments, silly fun, emotional support, good communication) as well as things you need that he cannot give you (living nearby, consistently making time for you). Take that with gratitude, and in the future, only date young men who treat you as well or better.