hi there
first of all i’d like to say that honestly getting a dui is the worst thing i have ever done and i am not looking for sympathy for this action. i have come to terms with the decisions that lead me to that moment. i know i’m not a bad person although at the time time i certainly felt it. i made a horrific and disgusting decision based on ignorance and not being aware of how much alcohol i can consume before driving. i have and will never make that kind of stupid choice again. just wanted to add that disclaimer as i want to make it clear that i don’t condone it by any means.
anyway. this happened a long time ago and i think it’s time to tell my boyfriend about it but i’m worried he’ll perceive me differently. any advice on how to bring up such a difficult topic?
2 comments
Is there a particular reason why you suddenly feel the need to mention this to him?
If there’s a reason you need to tell him now, discuss it when you discuss that. Otherwise, it’s usually best to discuss those kinds of things when you both are ready to share the parts of your history you’re not proud of. Everyone has skeletons in their closets. Some people’s are a little gnarlier and more hidden than others, but they’re all there somewhere. Be honest and display your regret in your changed habits and behaviors. That’s all you can do.
If it makes you feel any better, my fiancé had a DUI and a serious alcohol problem back when he was bartending. That was before I met him. He took it as a wake up call to get his shit together, and he quit that job and now only drinks occasionally and almost always in moderation, but he always has a sober transportation plan if there’s travel involved. I had a moment of concern when he told me about it (we’d only been on a few dates) and did keep a close eye on his drinking there for a bit, but everything I’ve ever seen from him indicates he’s not who he was back when it happened. The only practical implication it has on my life with him is that we can’t go to Canada on vacation. And since I don’t have any serious interest in going to Canada, we’re all good.