So, I (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been in an on-and-off relationship for half a year. We broke up 4 different times for reasons the majority of my friends deem petty or insecure on his behalf. However, he claims I was the problem, and he has all the right to be mad.
Fight 1 –> Fireworks. So I had a car friend group, and I usually chilled with them and went to car meets with him. My boyfriend on the other hand liked to be a shit disturbed and lit fireworks at two of the meets, where during the second time hit a few cars with fireworks by accident. It happened to hit one of the guys in my friend group, where I got in shit for it and got mad at my boyfriend. What ended up happening was because everyone knew where he lived, he got his car keyed. His instant reaction was to blame his ex gf in the group, his ex’s bf and my guy best friend, where he lost his sh\*t on all of them and threatened them. This is where I broke up with him, as I didn’t want the drama but told him maybe when it all settles we can get back together. What ended up happening was that, I met up with him, and he told me he loved me, and I said it back, but he also got jealous over an Asian guy at the meet since he was a friend of mine and used a slur. Where Although I shouldn’t have told him, and in the gc they saw him going to the gym (his car is easy to spot), so the guy keyed his car. I didn’t want to get into the middle of it since I love my bf but the gc were my friends. However, a person in the gc snitched and I got blamed in the gc and was called a rat and my bf hated me for hiding it.
We got back together a week later.
Fight 2 –> He invited me out with his brothers and best friend, but I ended up staying at work late so I couldn’t go. After work, I called him and he was on his way home from the event, and I was omw home to get food. However, mid-way, my guy best friend called me saying he is drunk at a bar and needed a ride, so I ended up picking him up where he wanted to watch the Leafs game and I still wanted food. My bf knew my guy’s best friend and was okay with him, so we ended up going to a restaurant, so my guy best friend could sober up and I could get food. However, I didn’t tell my boyfriend, and when he asked what I was eating I said pasta, little did I know he drove past my house and told me I was lying to him and stormed off. However, I never intended to lie to him and I knew he would have been ok if I did tell him. But, he ended up blocking me on everything and saying he was done with me.
We got back together a week later.
Fight 3 –> He was mad because I had someone I had a thing with over a year ago on tiktok… However, he was blocked on everything but tik tok, but my boyfriend broke up with me the day before his vacation. #2 I played video games with my male co-worker. simple as that. He said he “wouldn’t date a girl who entertains other guys” as his reason for the breakup.
We got back together a week later.
Fight 4 –> Most recent happened 2 days ago. I went to a bar with his brothers and I drank a little too much, I ended up asking him to drop me off at the mall parking lot, since I was too drunk to go home. My (girl) friend who told me she could pick me up couldn’t because her car was blocked in and my boyfriend said he couldn’t come back. I felt so sick, I called my (guy) friend from high school who has a girlfriend to help me, and he ended up calling one of his friends to help me who also has a girlfriend. My boyfriend called me and found out I was with a guy and dumped me over the phone meanwhile I was throwing up everywhere. When I wouldn’t have called my friend if he was able to come and help me after dropping me off when I clearly wasn’t feeling well.
I texted him yesterday morning, and he said I should’ve walked home and it is my fault since I shouldn’t have called a guy to help me since as his girlfriend the only guy in my life should be him. I cut off 99% of my guy friends and people he doesn’t like.
My friends tell me he is toxic or insecure. What should I do, I really love him and just want advice about how I can save this relationship or whether it is worth saving?
## TL;DR
\- boyfriend keeps breaking up due to guy friends
\- does not want me to play video games with guys
\- doesn’t want new guy friends
\- if flings or exs not blocked on every social media he gets mad
\- cant be alone with a guy one on one
\- when I was wasted and asked for help, he couldn’t so I got a guy friend to help me since they were the only one available and get dumped me over that recently
\- we are on and off so what do I do? is it worth being in this relationship or should I just move on?
7 comments
He is very insecure.
If you want to save the relationship. Listen to his controlling ways. And lose all the guy friends.
Or. Find a better guy who isn’t crazy.
Yes, he is toxic and insecure, also racist, also reckless. The only thing you did wrong was lie to him. You shouldn’t lie in a relationship. If you feel you need to lie, then you should break up with the person. The only exception is if your safety is at risk, in which case you are not in a relationship, you are a hostage of an abuser. In that case, lie as much as you need to to keep yourself safe, but contact a domestic violence hotline for help safely exiting an abusive relationship.
A man who tries to isolate you from your friends and who regularly explodes over (frankly) minor things, is a guy who is going to abuse you if you give him a chance.
Don’t give him a chance.
Your boyfriend is toxic and insecure and you should have stayed broken up after fight 1. Never get with any guy who says the only guy in your life should be him.
You’ve got plenty of guy friends dump him he’s one too many and a little crazy.
There is “healthy” jealousy in a relationship. This doesn’t appear to be the case here.
Just move on. Half a year and you’ve already broken up four times. Judging from this post, he’s jealous, controlling, and uses racial slurs. What the hell do you see in him?