So often when socializing in public, the advise to “talk to everyone” is overridden when people wear headphones. Idk about you all, but when I wear headphones in public, it’s because I love music and want to listen to it whilst I get stuff done, not because I want to be left alone. Why is it always interpreted as a don’t approach signal.
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Because they are engaged in a solitary activity and not looking to socialize. Or maybe they are on a call.
Because for a lot of people it is. I being one of them, lol. Wearing headphones has helped me out of so many awkward situations. I’d like to think it’s also because people are being polite and don’t want to interrupt someone listening to music.
ok so there are a few different concepts coming together here:
* hopefully we can agree that a person’s right to be left alone trumps a stranger’s desire to talk to them
* if someone is engrossed in something, it is impossible to confirm whether or not they mind being interrupted without interrupting them in the process
* there’s also a growing awareness culturally that people who get interrupted a lot–particularly women–use headphones in order to communicate that they don’t want to be interrupted
Don’t talk to everyone in public. Only talk to people in public when you are sure they are open to conversation. Most people in public want you to leave them alone, headphones or not.
Even people who like chatting often get annoyed when they’re in the zone and someone yanks them out of it. Headphones are immersive; people get lost in the music. Having an interruption by someone trying to get to know you can be jarring. If it’s something like an audiobook or podcast, it can disrupt the train of thought and lead to confusion or missed details.
I carry a knife with me at all times since being jumped, if you approach me with my headphones on, and you don’t expressly get my attention, you could end up on the ground with a stab wound. Hell, even if you get my attention and I don’t respond or I tell you to leave me alone, take any further attempt to impede my travel, or interrupt me as an harassment, or an assault, and respond accordingly.
Be social in social situations, do not impede someone’s free travel just because you want to chat. Do this whether a person has headphones on or not. Just the other day, I was leaving work, I hadn’t even put on my headphones yet and someone stepped in front of me while I was walking to my bike and stopped me to talk. I told them I did not want to talk, and they continued to block my way to my transportation. I didn’t pull my knife, but because they would not allow me to continue, I stuck my leg behind theirs, put them on the ground, and continued on my way.
Take no for an answer, if someone doesn’t respond, take that as a no, never touch another human without permission, and do not block someone’s way, or you may end up hurt, dead, or otherwise incapacitated.
Because for most people who wear headphones they actually don’t want to talk to people.
Maybe in a different approach, doesn’t mean it right but it’s a theory, not mie but sometimes makes me wonder. Maybe because people don’t like to be ignore. If I approach you on the bus and you have your headphones and looking at the window and ask you where did you get that cool shirt, you prob didn’t hear me and continue on your focus state. I, on the other side feel a bit ashamed for being ignored, specially if others witnessed this. People don’t want to feel ashamed, so they will just avoid the whole situation. I seen situations similar, and in most, the person being talk to knew he was being approached yet decided to humiliate the other person by continuing their straight stare, this either for self protection or just because they are not very nice. So people avoid talking to people with headphones over all.
I use headphones only when I don’t want anyone to disturb me.