What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen being taken away from someone at airport security?

34 comments

1. An exceedingly large teddy bear, but it was mostly my fault.

   RyanAir weighed my hand luggage bag and it was 100g over the weight limit, they wanted to charge me £60. Fair enough. I broke the rules. I paid my £60.

   As they are scanning my card, a lady walks through with not only hand luggage, but a human sized stuffed teddy bear.

   The person charging my card (and who weighed my bag) just nodded her through.

   Like, what the fuck?

   So I asked him why he was treating her differently to me, and he said “Because I am charging you, I don’t have time to charge her too. We wouldn’t board on time”

   So, this lady is getting on the plane with a huge teddy bear and a hand luggage bag, while my shit is costing me £60 and being thrust into the hold because it is 100-grams over.

   I said “that’s just unfair. Charge her”.

   He said “no”

   Then his colleague said “that’s right. It is unfair”

   Then he chased her and pulled the teddy out of her hands, also charging her £60.

   If you’re gonna have rules, enforce them fairly.

2. Chainsaw – I was queuing for the security check and a guy in front of me had a big commercial petrol-driven chainsaw in a box and wanted to take it on as hand luggage.

3. I’m not sure what the outcome was, but I witnessed a very heated conversation between an older woman and security about whether toothpaste was, or wasn’t, a liquid.

4. My wife had marmite confiscated, they said it was a liquid. She was livid. 🤣

5. A guy next to me had several really nice looking craft beers taken off him at Heathrow Terminal 5. The ridiculous bit was that we were on a connecting flight so there was really no need to go through security again.

6. Late night flight home, no other flights from the airport for 3 hours until ours, so loads of bored airport staff. Which partly explained the 13 searches of us and our hand baggage.

   As we were finally allowed into the gate it was search 14. And they found an attack alarm I’d been given at college years earlier, in my jacket pocket.

   Quite aside from the first 13 searches and the outgoing ones not having found it, the local staff had never seen such a thing, so obviously squeezed it. And then had a great time calling up all their bored mates and squeezing it next to them, for the next hour. It was funny, I suppose. They said they’d give it to the air crew so I would get it back, but didn’t.

7. A buddy of mine bought his GF a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs from Amsterdam. A bit of a weird gift but whatever. Ended up having them taken them off him by airport security. It was awkward but very funny.

8. Pre 9/11 my Dad had his Swiss army knife confiscated from his bag by airport security…

   He was in full pilot’s uniform, ID card, and was about to fly a 737 from Cardiff to Cyprus.

   (I was with him travelling as a passenger).

   The resulting conversation was pretty funny.

   “What’s the concern here? That I’m going to hold a knife to my own throat and hijack myself? You know the knife bit seems like a bit of an unnecessary step…”

9. my daughter got a little inflatable beachball taken away. No idea why her grandma packed it but there you go.

10. Hand grenade belt buckle! the argument was “its a belt” but it was the shape of a grenade (not a flat belt buckle) and even had a pin in it!!

    The ping pong of insults between the security and the guy was hilarious! he wasn’t having it at all that it was a grenade, and security were like “mate it looks exactly like a grenade and your in a airport”

11. Baked beans in a tin. 3 of them….it was my missus.

12. My Pinky and Perky record at Jeddah Airport in the late 60s

13. I had pair of shoes with metallic looking stiletto heels on them in my hand luggage. Almost had those confiscated as the security agent thought they could be used as weapons! Managed to convince her when I pointed out they were mostly made from plastic

    Another time, had a security alert on my hand luggage when it went through the scanner – turned out to be a small plastic glasses repair kit in amongst about 6 or 7 underwired bikinis and underwear.

14. Was at the airport yesterday and I saw on the confiscated/surrendered pile at the side of the x-Ray machine not one, not two but three snow globes.

15. Had a security lady claim my Mum’s clear bag was too full – strange how she picked out all the expensive makeup to be “thrown away” I dived in and threw out the toothpaste and deodorant instead before the makeup made it to her pocket.

    And then prompted headed down to the male security with my rather full clear bag.

16. Ive had a pair of scissors (that where within the guide lines) taken from me because and i quote. “I could snip someones finger with them…”

    Fuck off am i going to tackle someone to the ground unfurl their hand whilst they and security are fighting me off, and give them a cut that may require a few stitches when i could easily unlace a shoe and garrot a person… fucking jobsworth wanker of a manager at gatwick. Probably cant keep it up and his partner is sleeping with his brother.

    What is more insulting is that knitting needles are allowed on flights!

17. Not the airport but the subway in China. I had deodorant in my bag and the security girl told me I couldn’t take it in English. I asked why not and she started to pretend she couldn’t speak English, so I asked in Chinese and she paniced and pretended she couldn’t speak Chinese either. I just moved to the the other security gate and the guy on that one let me through whilst she watched and didn’t say anything.

18. I had my Christmas crackers confiscated at Heathrow airport because of the ‘tiny explosive’ inside.

19. I was about 10, they took away my plastic handcuffs as they could be a danger. I was flying as an unacompanied minor.

    Really.

20. Legitimately seen a handgun at Orlando airport. And the guy was doing the whole “it’s my constitutional rights” routine and everything, like he couldn’t believe he wasn’t allowed it.

21. I lost a nice pair of eyebrow tweezers once.

    But I did see my elderly and rather frail father’s hand luggage get searched and lo and behold it contained his special sun lotion as he takes medication that makes him burn easily. I was furious with him as I had already had heated conversations with him and my mum about what you can and can’t take in hand luggage and we were going somewhere rather remote and I was wondering how the hell we’d replace this stuff. I shouldn’t have worried, despite being frail he just took it back from the lad and said determinedly and rather indignantly “no you can’t throw that away son, I need it.” Put it back in his bag and very slowly shuffled away towards departures hall. The security guard just looked at his slowly departing, hunched figure and decided it wasn’t worth it. I won’t ever fly with either of them again as they are nightmares!

22. Woman in front of me had a snow globe. After much negotiation with multiple security staff she got to keep it but only after the staff had drained the liquid out. I was split between amused and irritated by the delay for this nonsense.

23. Couple in front of me had what must’ve been tens of thousands of pounds in cash just casually in their hand luggage. Hadn’t declared it.

    Also, when at Victoria Falls Airport in Zimbabwe I had a glass water bottle (a bloody nice one n all) taken away because it could be used as a weapon. Walk around the corner into the lounge and there’s stand selling African Fanta in 1L glass bottles…

24. Around 2006, when I used to smoke, I was flying from Bristol and had a lighter taken off me at the security point, so I asked how I was going to light up in the smoking area, to be told I could buy matches at the bar. So, I buy a pint and ask for a box of matches…”Sorry mate, we don’t sell matches, but we’ve got lighters.” Yeah, a great scam going there.

25. The most ridiculous situation is on board ferries. They’ll confíscate a leatherman knife from a cyclist who needs it for camping, but apparently a meat cleaver or huge knife is ok in a motorhome! Both vehicles are left below deck. Nothing to stop the motorhome guys putting the knives into their hand luggage and carrying it into the passenger areas. Presumably placing the knife next to a loaf of bread in the motorhome renders it harmless?

26. I once had 3 jars of tahini confiscated at Birmingham Airport. My sister lives in Spain and said it was super expensive there, and she needed it for her wedding catering (self catering). I breezed all the “no pastes, no liquids” questions like a smug prick until the moment I answered “what is tahini?” with “sesame seed paste”…..

27. Queuing to go through passport control in Chicago O’Hare, a sniffer dog and handler are walking through the queue, and she was saying clearly that no food can be bought through security, and to declare anything you had. Old guy ahead of us says nothing but the dog sniffs out his bag, and the handler asks him if he’s got any food. He says no, but the dog knows better, and the handler opens his bag and finds a tupperware container of home made soup. The guy then argues that it’s only soup and doesn’t count. Moron.

28. Way back in the 80s a friend took some tampons in her carry bag and was stopped and the male guard refused to believe they were tampons because these didn’t have a cardboard tube with them.He kept asking what equipment the bullets went with. To my knowledge at the time, the rest of the world only used tampons with cardboard tubes and not the small wrapped in plastic ones that were available in the uk.

29. Pre-911, but I once tried to take a block of 7 knives through customs. In my defence, it was wrapped up as a present for a wedding we were going to, and I had kind of forgotten that it was knives as it was now “the present”.

    I got pulled over by security…”Any sharp objects?”

    I shook my head “no”

    He prompted again “Knives perhaps?”

    Me again “no” (slightly puzzled), then “oh!”. “OOHHH!!” as I suddenly remembered.

    Fortunately they realised it was a dumb mistake, gave me a clear plastic sack, and we put it in the hold. When everyone’s luggage came through, so did my prettily wrapped present, in a giant clear plastic sack.

30. At Dublin airport I had a small bottle of holy water in the shape of Mary confiscated. Then they found a 35cl bottle of alcohol I’d forgotten I had in the bag but I got hold of it and downed the lot neat.
    My cousins with me were less than impressed.

31. A friend from South Africa accidentally left some bullets in their hand luggage when visiting the UK.

    The bullets were not spotted by security. They had to find a way of disposing of them in the UK. I seem to recall they phoned the police station and asked for advice and the armed response team collected them.

32. I was behind a bloke who was clearly going on some sort of cycling/running holiday. His liquid bag was full to bursting (literally) of those energy gel things that such people consume. The security person said he’d have to get rid of about three of them so the liquid bag could close, so he promptly ate (is that the right term?) them. I can’t imagine the sugar high he must have been on for the duration of his flight.

33. This doesn’t quite fit the brief, but I unknowingly tried to take a 6″ lock blade hunting knife through airport security in South Africa to fly home to Europe *in my hand luggage*! The knife is also super illegal to carry around in my country.

    My SIL’s (bro’s wife’s) Muslim parents gave us wrapped Xmas presents last second to take home and I only had space in my carry on. I don’t know if it matters that my (blonde white) son was 12 at the time and possibly considered to be entering the first phase of manhood or something like that. First time we ever met them. First time I had seen my brother in 10 years. I didn’t ask what they were or if were they trying to get me arrested! I was distracted at the emotional parting, not really thinking about airline rules and that not knowing was bad!

    Nonchalantly at the airport I put my bag through the x-ray and the large (it’s relevant, I promise) WOC handling it started opening it and scowling at me once it was through. She lifted the flap and gestured at the presents, quite harshly and loudly asking me in a thick accent I struggled a bit with, what they were. I think. I just looked at her and she grabbed the 2 wrapped oblong presents on top and thrust them at my chest demanding I unwrap them. I was a bit scared but the smaller more box-like object underneath them, she left where it was half under a t-shirt.

    I frantically started ripping off wrapping paper and as soon as it became apparent one was a bath cream and the other a large perfume bottle she snatched them off me berating me for bringing banned items through security and launched them both, with deadly accuracy, right past my face into a huge wheelie bin. It was so fast you could barely tell what they were before they were flying through the air because yes, you better believe at this point I was trying to open them both at once. And sweating! Relieved it was nothing suspicious but a bit shocked, I gestured weakly to the third wrapped present poking out and before I could reach for it, she forcefully grabbed my bag, slammed it shut, zipped it up and shoved it into my arms saying I must hurry now and go, and I must be more careful and check my bag properly next time. I also think she said something very rude about me in a local dialect as I left.

    It wasn’t until I got home almost a day later, I thought about how weird it was that she didn’t want me to unwrap the box. She must have seen what was inside it and it was ok. So you can imagine my surprise when kiddo unwrapped it to find this beautiful presentation box and massive serrated pearl handled lock knife in it that nobody can ever know my 12 year old owns!

    She must have seen it clear as day on the x-ray. No way did she not know what was in that box. I think the big show was for her colleague. I think she turned to put her whole body squarely between him and the screen displaying the next bag, and me and my bag so he couldn’t see, then leaned in and got all aggressive with me snatching and launching and shouting at me so fast even I barely saw what went in the bin so I know he didn’t.

    Why did she do that? She could have risked her job, surely? I was about to get on a plane with a massive hunting knife for goodness sake! I didn’t know that though and I think she called me a dumb something something bitch as I walked away! I still want to know why she let my son keep it? She put on a great act and it’s a beautiful knife.

34. I used to work in marketing for a vape company, and traveled to a trade show in Germany and had to take a load of samples with me in my carry on luggage.

    It was Interesting trying to explain why I was carrying a small suitcase basically filled with batteries and wires onto the plane.