Married men: how involved were you in planning your wedding?

25 comments

1. Fully involved with everything but the dress.

2. Stayed completely away from the dress. Every other decision I narrowed down to 3-5 options and had her choose from there or tell me to do more research.

3. I was just along for the ride. Lol

4. I planned nearly every facet, flowers, color theme, food, venue, officiant, invitations, etc.

   We teamed on on the DJ/music, her dress, and the guest list.

   We started planning 3 days after I proposed.

5. I can’t remember making a single material contribution. Her day, her show; I was just happy to be there and she’s happier in full control of it.

6. Almost none.
   Worked out perfectly.

   It’s the brides day. Just tell me where to be.

7. I proposed, picked up the flowers the day before and turned up at the church on time. It was 11 months between getting engaged and married, and had it all paid off within another 3 or so months.

   Some couples I know spent absolute fortunes and were still paying off the debt after they’d divorced. Hopefully that’s not you good luck!

8. Basically not at all.

   If she had an email or something she wanted me to send I helped but my lady is a bit of a control freak so she was happy to do it.

9. 10%.

10. Quite involved. She was more focused on the details of decor and whatnot, but we picked the location/food/colors/etc together. She chose the florist but I handled most of the coordination after that and the photographer was totally my doing, as was my suit and stuff.

    She started planning about six hours after I proposed, but I started seriously being involved a few weeks later when she started talking about venue choice. Then the pandemic hit and the schedule all went to shit, so ‘when’ is a relative measure.

11. I was involved in the entire process. A lot of things I had no real opinion on but the music, drinks, food, color scheme and other things that affected me directly I had direct input on

12. I picked the date (it was based on when I could get leave while in the Marines), and my Best Man and 1 Groomsman.

    Beyond that, everything else was handled by her and others.

13. 7/10

14. I did it all. Took me about 3 hours of phone calls and emails in total to execute and 1 hour of white boarding with my wife to plan before I started making those calls.

    We had less than 50 people, spared no expense from a meal and alcohol perspective and used a restaurant where we all know and liked that was setup for events 50 person corporate events so chose one of their packages and paid a bit more to throw some flowers and shit up.

    This also included figuring out our honeymoon too.

    We still get a lot of comments about “wow, best wedding ever, no fuss, no long drawn out bullshit, you guys did it right, if I ever get married I’m copying you “ etc comments.
    My wife and saved a ton of time and money and headaches and we have good pictures and memories.

15. She told me what she liked and I said great.

16. I set the budget, was very involved in the stuff that I cared more about (like picking the menu and wedding cake), set the level of casualness vs formal I was comfortable with, and for the things that I didn’t really care about, I offered my opinions and occasionally vetoed something if I felt strongly enough. I probably would have done all the stuff with regards to music if we hadn’t easily agreed to book the same DJ a friend used for their wedding.

    We each did independent research into various venues and when we were ready to start seriously looking, looked at each other’s lists and narrowed it down to a few that we both liked.

    We started casually planning immediately, but didn’t start seriously planning until we’d saved up some money. Neither set of parents were in a position to help us out financially and my one hard rule was that we weren’t taking out a loan for the wedding.

17. In my family, the men are told when to show up and what to wear. Everything else is in the women’s hands.

18. I mostly approved or disapproved of the things my wife requested. Our wedding meant everything to her, so I let her have her dream wedding, and I worked my ass off to make it happen.

19. When she said yes I called the registry office and got a date, set-up for the reception and hired a suit.

    She changed everything and that delayed the marriage by 3 months, something she admitted had been a mistake when we were celebrating our 5 year anniversary.

    Had plans to redo it all my way on our ten year anniversary but she never made it. She died a few weeks short.

20. Aisle, altar, you.
    Thats what she sees.

    (Ill, alter, you. Is what she thinks)

    But from what i can tell, the grooms job is just to keep out of the way, say “yes dear”, and look generally lost and confused during the ceremony.

21. I ran the thing like an invasion

22. i had zero involvement. my wife and her mom were having too much fun. It all worked out great for me.

23. JOP. I showed up.

24. I was super involved I hired everyone at my restaurant to cater it was pretty sweet and I’m into interior design… we had a lot of fun planning it together and I think us doing it together took away from a lot of the stress that is usually involved

25. Uhh sitting next to my wife now. She said I planned like 8% of our wedding. So theres that.