Hi everyone! I’m 21F and I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. He’s a fairly skinny guy (in a hot muscular tall way if you ask me), but he’s 6’2 and ~175. When we first met I was around the same weight as him which never bothered me much as it’s how my body has always looked and in my opinion, it was very attractive. I hate the term slim thicc, but let’s just use it for reference.
In the last six months I have been suicidal and was put on new birth control and depression medication to help with the suicidal thoughts. It’s helped a bunch mentally but in about 6 months I gained ~30lbs. It’s the heaviest I’ve ever been and I just don’t feel as comfortable in my skin. My boyfriend is very kind and says he loves my body how it is and how it was, and doesn’t want me to lose weight unless I want to. I want to DESPERATELY for my own sake of mind but despite my best attempts I can’t shake the weight, which is a side effect of the birth control in particular (nexplanon if anyone is curious). I’ve heard this first hand from my gyno when I told her I’d been doing a calorie deficit and working out with no results. We decided to take out the nexplanon (due to other side effects as well) and she told me to not stress about the weight as it should even out when It’s taken out but honestly I’m still anxious.
Our sex life is still great but my boyfriend asked me for sexy pictures the other day to refresh his stash (lol) and when I tried I cried looking at the images, seeing stretch marks or comparing how my arms and tummy and breasts have changed. I just don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and it’s hurting my confidence in bed and being naked in general. Any advice on how to feel more confident and sexy in a changing body?
8 comments
Ummm, he dont care. Trust me. Now you, its got in your head. Thats tough to beat. But truly, this one is all yours. He loves you. All of you. He will support you in anything.
Skin colored Spanx or tights?
You don’t have to show everything
You’d be amazed what some simple lingerie can do for your self confidence. Try to find some pieces that hide the areas you’re insecure about and accentuate the parts you and your BF love. Plus his reaction to them will give you a confidence boost too! Also, find Katelyn Scott on tiktok. I love her page and she shows lots of positions to take some sexy selfies in!
On a different note, I realize it’s easier said than done but trying to fall in love with the body you have as opposed to stressing over attaining something different is absolutely worth it. My weight has fluctuated all over the place and it’s taken 2 kids and hitting my thirties to finally love my body. And no, I’m not at my thinnest I’ve ever been by a long shot. Be kind to yourself and try to see yourself the way your boyfriend does. You’re beautiful no matter your size ❤️
💋👑
There’s plenty of full figured lingerie you can get to embrace your new body but always remind yourself that your BF loves you for you, not for what you look like and this extra weight is just temporary. Everyone is self conscious of themselves so it’s only natural to feel the way you do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure there are plenty of single ladies dying to be in your shoes. Have you tried playing around with photo filters after taking the pics? It’s amazing what they can do! 😊
He is with you,
You know some humans see above the weight,above the marks, above everything physically. They are attracted to the person. Their body is a bonus. Your body for him is the sexiest one of all because it’s yours. You could look like Rihanna or Rita Ora,it doesn’t matter to him.
I’ve been with different size in term of women,some were truly slim, some heavy duty, some tall small it didn’t matter. The attraction, the fireworks. I can understand, you are self conscious but if he is asling you pictures it’s because he is genuinely attracted to you.
I know it can sound silly (and a little uncomfortable at first), but being naked more frequently can help build confidence! Looking at yourself and saying something you like about yourself is also helpful:)
A review of 44 studies shows no evidence that birth control pills cause permanent weight gain (usually only 5lbs or so for a few months until your body adjusts to the hormones).
That being said, it may redistribute where your body retains fat the most (for me the pill sort of slowly redeposits more fat in my breasts and ass and takes it away from my natural waist). It also causes me to retain water (not 5 lbs worth but some) so I up my hydration and occasionally have ginger or nettle tea or something diuretic.
Don’t be too hard on yourself with weight concerns. If calorie deficit leads to road blocks try intermittent fasting combined with toning and weight exercises.
Also if you can afford it, find some flattering new lingerie that accentuates what you like and is comfortable on what you’re insecure about and get some professional boudoir photos done.
Your man loves you. I am sure you are fine.
Btw, weight loss is easy, eat protein and lift weights. Your not gonna get ripped or anything but but you will start feeding your muscle and not your reserve energy as you would with a carb diet. Like a month or so down the road, you will feel better mentally and physically. It just works.
Or do nothing as I said he LOVES YOU!